Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, my friends woke me up on my birthday by spraying me with silly string. I have a job interview and it won't come out of my hair. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
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Top comments
namine120409 42
I mean, not cool on their part but did you really think getting drunk enough to pass out the day before your interview was the best decision?
interesting33 37
although getting drunk and being hungover before a job interview is not he eat, you do not deserve henna on your face. I'm sure you would have been ok at the interview had they not done that. That really does suck. What did you do in the end?
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Comments (23)
RichardPencil 32
I hope you’re applying at Dick’s Sporting Goods. They’ll love your enthusiasm for Dick’s.
Razell 13
Reason #235 to never get drunk...
Symphoniaes 32
You can rub salted olive oil into the henna and it’ll remove
Oogly979 8
Passing out drunk the night before an interview. Guess your potential employers should count themselves lucky they didn't hire an irresponsible moron.
Mortimer14 9
An emergency visit to a makeup parlor should cover the marks long enough for the interview. After that, see your dermatologist or just wait for it to wash out (7-10 days I believe).
Chad Bishop 7
your fault for drinking the day before a big interview
Aurora25 29
Why would you get drunk the day before your interview in the first place?
Matthew Irmen 11
Really? At least your interviewer won't have to ask any questions to know you're a dick
Taurus_ChicKa 37
"Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before." YDI right there. But knowing you had a job interview the next day, and you still went to a wild party and got so drunk you passed out? Yeah, triple YDI.
DanielleinDC 34
Anything that involves drinking too much at a wild party is an automatic YDI. Anything that involves getting drunk at a wild party the day before you have a job interview is doubly a YDI. It didn't occur to you to moderate your drinking?