Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML
Today, I'm living in a hotel and my mum took a fat dump, clogging the toilet. When she tried to plunge it, it began overflowing. I had to start running in and out with trash and clean the room as fast as possible so that they didn't have any extra reasons to kick us out. Turns out they can't do anything tonight. FML
Today, after my housemate handed in his notice to vacate without telling me beforehand, I had few days whilst working to make a decision to stay or vacate. In a panic, I chose vacate. On my day off I sat down with my finances and discovered I can't afford elsewhere. I asked to stay, my landlord put up rent by 50%. I might now become homeless. FML
Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord, meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place, and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, after I got into an argument with mom's boyfriend, telling him to piss off because no one wanted him, and he did so, saying he was done putting in wasted effort, now he's gone I realise how much he did for us, or that his share of the bills paid the rent. We may lose our house because of me. FML
Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
steveykinz0967 16
Wow their relationship is really in the toilet.
Allornone 35
you roll the paper over, not under, dammit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
df21312 21
Toilet paper breaks homes apart. That's why I keep 3 different types at my moms house.
meliodafool_ 15
2 ply, or not 2 ply? that is the question.
False_Stupidity 42
That was brilliant #26. I'd like to 3 ply to your pun with another.
scyth3s 13
Maybe it's because op's dad didn't do enough 4ply before sex?
shemademedoit 20
that relationship is full of shit
wakemeupplease 21
Such an important thing I totally agree with that fight!!! :p
steveykinz0967 16
Wow their relationship is really in the toilet.
Myo_fml 20
I think some would even say it was... Paper thin.
Daevas 18
It seems as if their relation ship went... down the drain.
hailhydra 6
they were on the last roll
Klokwerk 4
The entire reason I signed into FML for the first time in YEARS to my memory is to say this: Get out. xD
venomousflower 24
Some fight
Chabela23 8
It was probably an argument on which direction should you place it. Paper facing you or facing away from you
Dingodile_fml 11
I believe this is known as overhand, or underhand. My rule of thumb is, if there are toddlers or cats in the house, underhand it is.
Allornone 35
you roll the paper over, not under, dammit.
snowflaky 22
Dammit #6, I was gonna make a comment like that. But at least you're correct and I don't have to tell you what a blundering fool you are for putting your rolls on backwards. Under just LOOKS stupid.
lil_juggalette 15
well if you have cats (like I do) then putting it over would be a disaster. I have to put it under because if I dont then my cats will attack it and unroll it just to make confetti around the house
drayloon 50
I have a lifting metal cover on my toilet paper to keep the cat from getting to it. I can't stand having the roll the wrong way
LittleRed79 39
@31: Genius!! I need to get one of those! My profile pic was my Mother's Day surprise from one of my fur babies. Caught her in the act!
columbusthecat 17
I have a cat as well, and I can't stand underhand toilet paper, so I just shut the door so he can't get in
Colon_Man 17
#31; "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you have constructed. The ability to hide your toilet paper is insignificant, next to the power of a cat."
Dodge4x4Ram 46
some assholes are just sensitive.
llamarrama01 21
That's a shitty situation
Sandsh8rk 36
Leave.
mmmxr 11
I was about to say, wow no one left a "that's a shitty situation" comment and then you came along and had to try being funny!
myoukei 31
Your dad is rather inconsiderate, especially if he was the one who decided to break things off and walk: he doesn't have your stability in mind at all when he makes decisions. FYL OP, hope things cool down soon.
dfair1987 16
Shouldn't both parties be at fault instead of just blaming the dad?
_Peppermint_ 34
Hope you find somewhere to settle again soon!