Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML
Today, I'm living in a hotel and my mum took a fat dump, clogging the toilet. When she tried to plunge it, it began overflowing. I had to start running in and out with trash and clean the room as fast as possible so that they didn't have any extra reasons to kick us out. Turns out they can't do anything tonight. FML
Today, after my housemate handed in his notice to vacate without telling me beforehand, I had few days whilst working to make a decision to stay or vacate. In a panic, I chose vacate. On my day off I sat down with my finances and discovered I can't afford elsewhere. I asked to stay, my landlord put up rent by 50%. I might now become homeless. FML
Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord, meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place, and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, after I got into an argument with mom's boyfriend, telling him to piss off because no one wanted him, and he did so, saying he was done putting in wasted effort, now he's gone I realise how much he did for us, or that his share of the bills paid the rent. We may lose our house because of me. FML
Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
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Top comments
steveykinz0967 16
Wow their relationship is really in the toilet.
Allornone 35
you roll the paper over, not under, dammit.
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Comments (67)
gearhead369 20
Let's be honest, a clean bum is a happy bum. Someone doesn't have a happy bum!
Reasonable_one 12
Your Dad really should not have TP'd his girlfriend's parent's house...
teapotrevolt 27
That's not what happened at all. Where does it say girlfriends parents? Had nothing to do with any parent other than op's father.
MattStro 23
I would definitely love some more details OP
daken96 21
Did she get the wrong kind again? Your dad might be very sensitive down there.
alfonze07 12
Sounds legit.
Attacksloth 33
If their relationship is THAT fragile, they should honestly re-evaluate it.
jamesSpell 3
Ffff
igg125 30
If always have to fix it if it's under.
mergeterge 24
People are assuming the fight was about HOW to put it on (over or under). What if one of them got mad because the other is one of those vile souls who uses up one role, puts the cardboard on the floor, and then rips apart the new role and leaves it on the counter?
musdesimd 18
no, ppl r are makin jokes about the situation, called humor
MrsLighthouse 8
#23- I have a cat and a three year old. Over, under, no way is safe.
hailhydra 6
so... wanna tell us more or should we just wait for your fml about toilet paper
HoboMeth 36
Sounds like me now