Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
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Top comments
soccerguy2 11
just give him the keys for your car. he seems like a good trustworthy driver.
AngrehPirate 0
What a greedy man...
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Comments (120)
diesel1226 0
He has to pay for the damages somehow.
ImaginaryFoe 1
It's always confusing when someone is speechless after a yes or no question. Either say yes or say no. I probably would've told him to ask the police for a ride and gone back to bed.
lilacgold 16
He was probably suffering from shock from the accident. When I was in an accident a few years ago (my mum was driving and some idiot ran us off the road), I ended up fixating on the French exam I was due to take in 3 days and repeated my presentation over and over to confused hospital staff.
Fisahgurl 1
Should've given him a ride. The guy does does a job in order to pay for the damages. Unless of course you wanted to pay for them yourself..
allthatglittters 0
G A
THE_A_TEEN 28
Giant ass?
honeybadger123 0
well how else is he supposed to get to work?
bizarre_ftw 22
Was he drunk?
lolyeahthatsme 11
You can replace the fence, not so lucky with the tree. Fyl
lolyeahthatsme 11
Fyl...flipping auto correct!
lolyeahthatsme 11
Nvm I corrected it
DJRhetorical 4
Two things! First at least everyone is o.k., second he het a tree and not your house.
hateevryone 15
he's such an idiot. i bet he was drunk.