Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
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Top comments
soccerguy2 11
just give him the keys for your car. he seems like a good trustworthy driver.
AngrehPirate 0
What a greedy man...
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Comments (120)
keeks46 12
Punch that inconsiderate jerk in the face goddamnit
Okayitwasme 0
Why?? It wasn't done to offend. Doing that, means you get sued for decking the guy. He just might sue you anyway for having the fence too close to the road!
farhil 14
The only way that would be plausible is if the fence was ON the road. Otherwise, it's probably the owner's property, and he can do what he wants with the fence.
Abulurd 2
I'd tell him I'd charge him for the ride. Big time.
gameplaya2023 0
its probably the same person who almost ran over that person
carleilam 3
Or he swerved thinking leaves blowing across the yard was a child.
Okayitwasme 0
Um, sure, got any gas money???????
CherryCola46 5
No.
babyshaft408 8
How do u know it was a suburban when u were sleeping haha
FlotatiousTurd 1
the same way he filed the poloce report and talked to the driver
heart_aussie_fml 20
Well you could've driven him to work ! Wasn't his fault if your fence was in the way ! *kidding*
ThecomingofTan 9
I would give him a ride, but that ****** is buying me a Mcflurry from McDonald's.
Ins_Knie 2
Things people say when they're drunk... Have him take a breathalyzer test and the cops will give him a ride.
RensM 22
why assume his is/was drunk... that is so judgemental plus very offencive against alcoholics who had nothing to do with this accident. Breathalyzer check is pretty standard for any traffic accident, so unless he was aking from the back of the patrol car he should be ok
Johnny6speed 0
Way to be an ignorant ass 55.
asdalia 7
On the bright side you would've gotten to see where he works. Assuming it was his fault, I smell pay back (;
RensM 22
The guy has an honest accident, I am sure he did not mean to plow into your tree... Unless maybe the tree has done him wrong at one point and he is out for revenge. So giving him a ride to work is not such a big deal aslong as you drive.