Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had another lucid dream. Like every time I lucid dream, I immediately started having tons of dream sex. That would've been fine if I hadn't been taking a nap on the living room couch in the middle of the day. The entire family heard my squirming and moaning and saw me nut my pants. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, after many, many years of desperate bodily insecurity and therapy, I woke up next to the man of my dreams, who told me the sex was wonderful. Apparently, gin plays wonders with my memory. I don't remember a thing. And that was my first time. FML
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The worst part is he stole his best sex moves from Queen and David Bowie. I'm not sure what the problem is. Ice hasn't worked in a long time, so he might be available to make your dream a reality.
jkjorn 18
Perhaps your dream was inspired by that post from a couple of weeks ago about putting Ice in your ******?
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
The worst part is he stole his best sex moves from Queen and David Bowie. I'm not sure what the problem is. Ice hasn't worked in a long time, so he might be available to make your dream a reality.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Don't worry. Tomorrow you'll have forgotten all about it. When he's replaced by MC Hammer.
jkjorn 18
Perhaps your dream was inspired by that post from a couple of weeks ago about putting Ice in your ******?
baristalbc 18
🤣🤣🤣
ElVicioTPD 3
I dunno, I wouldn't mind being able to ****** on thoughts only.
BurnInDemonFire 39
YDI for not having an imagination.
baristalbc 18
Seriously, there are worse looking guys than Ice. Especially in his hay-day.