Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, my parents told me I have a bunch of chores to do today, no excuses. I have severe diarrhea and can’t leave the toilet. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
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Top comments
nikkibeez 0
that's disgusting. fyl, mainly for having such shitty parents.
mandypandypants 4
fyl for having parents that care more about jesus than their own son.
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Comments (50)
DakotaCat 4
Ydi for eating the lutefisk!
mrahhhhh 21
#12 wins forever. And OP, at least you didn't shit your pants going to work. As far as I know, God wouldn't discriminate against people who smell bad, but your boss probably does. Then again I'm atheist and haven't been to church in over 5 years, so I don't know if the churchfolk would be as forgiving. :?
Bee_Dee 0
So, you woke up early, got ready for church, and then spent the mass cleaning your own crap? Sucks.
UpsidedownKayak 9
Yes, that is what happened.
hisattentionspan 0
Yup, I would be pissed and the parents...
mulattogurl08 0
I'M HIGH SO I DNT GET THIS FML
FukYurLife_89 0
ydi for sinning the night before... lmao
imac2014 0
some parents ya got there...
CoolAsian 0
Dang, religion is important but your parents are messed.
funhun123 0
I think god would excuse you for being absent on that one...
katiebove 0
rofl
savvy_suzy 0
I find religion and religious people abhorrent. This is one such example of the attitude that disgusts me so. Stick your 'saviour' up your arse. Maybe the anal plug would stop the runs. Compassion and understanding obviously are not part of this equation.
Person1233 13
My intolerance meter just beeped.
boopityboppity 11
Mine didn't bother; it just broke. If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's a person who stands with the conviction that others are inferior because of personal beliefs.
randomlyfunny94 0
#26 your an jerk for disrespecting God and stereotyping religious people, whether or not you believe in God is up to you but insulting any religious group is NEVER okay
boopityboppity 11
"Your an jerk"? Whether or not you believe in Doc is up to you, but he is real, and he'll get you someday.
ILoveJei 0
Doc? Lol
boopityboppity 11
Oh, you'll see who Doc is. Just you wait.
lolol_BKYCHO 3
May the flying spaghetti monster bless you with his noodley appendage.