Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
That's like "I hate every bone in your body but mine" by Poison's CC Deville.(:
Doortje 30
KingDingALing, your obsession with Kay is getting a little out of hand. He has only said a few words to you, but your brain tricks you into thinking you have some sort of relationship with him. He didn't spike your drinks, he didn't molest you.. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you are sick. You need to schedule an appointment with a doctor and/or shrink right away. I recommend DocBastard.
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Comments (81)
davidjr_saldana 0
que?
KingDingALing 9
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! I've always wanted to do that. Now I can check that off my list. Let's see, what's my next goal? It say's here "Get first comment on an FML". I'll do it! Dun dun dunnnn!
roeallen 11
I believe that "King-a-Ling" got too into it, and actually punctured his fallopian tubes. Ah well, there is always the last option on your list: making sandwiches.
KingDingALing 9
It's okay. I'm used to it! Thanks to all the roofies that were slipped into my drinks! Let's see the list of people that spiked my drink. 1) KaySL 2) KaySL 3) KaySL 4) KaySL 5) KaySL Hmm...I think I see a pattern...
Doortje 30
KingDingALing, your obsession with Kay is getting a little out of hand. He has only said a few words to you, but your brain tricks you into thinking you have some sort of relationship with him. He didn't spike your drinks, he didn't molest you.. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you are sick. You need to schedule an appointment with a doctor and/or shrink right away. I recommend DocBastard.
Doortje 30
Damn it Kay, what did I say? Let ME do the talking!
Doortje 30
Just remember, you'll still have to pay me.
UpsidedownKayak 9
KaySL, you are hereby sentenced to be anally raped until you bleed to death. Your last meal will be a hot lunch.
KingDingALing 9
It's almost the same as Kay's obsession with Sirin. Don't judge me, okay! :(
KingDingALing 9
On a side note, I told you, Doortje! He did spike my drink! So what if I liked it? It's perfectly normal...
sourgirl101 29
In all fairness, I think everyone's obsessed with Sirin. Some just voice it more than others.(:
Doortje 30
Of course he did KDaL. But you can't expect me to admit that, I am after all his lawyer. It is almost the same as Kay's sick obsession with Sirin, in fact that is why I'm warning you. As his lawyer, I've spent a lot of time with him and let me tell you: he is one messed up crackhead.
KingDingALing 9
And a good lawyer you are, Doortje. That is why I have some horrible news.... Kay, I will no longer be stalking you. I'm moving on. I found someone else to stalk. I will now stalk Doortje. I have a sick obsession with her.
flipstar530 0
hilarious stuff u guys. lol
moosemonkey1000 6
are those cupcakes??!!
Doortje 30
Yes. And no, you can't have them Cookie Monster!
TibbysMusic 1
That while thread of a conversation is exactly why I get on FML. I love you guys.
TibbysMusic 1
whole* I freaking hate auto correct.
andrewzzz 0
aight judge, wheres the guy im supposed to anally rape to death?
bravesfan112233 0
you've never had sex period
traze 7
WTF( ? _ ? )
maddyturkey 0
this isn't an fml
angelspit18 0
maybe you should have sex more often... than convince your self was "great" :/
Filitov 0
Okay, so your boyfriend is shallow. If it bothers you that much, then try to talk with him & work through it together. Or you could just take the easy way out & dump him as I'm sure plenty of other people will advise for you to do so.
victimization 0
Thanks Dr. Phil! We must remember to send you a thank you card for fixing our lives.
PuppiesFTW 5
i dont see any problems with that :P
cowboyy_fml 0
dump his ass
PuppiesFTW 5
there's nothing to see here...
Loulabelle 0
Atleast the sex is good..
enoughgrace 4
true that.
DaveOnDope 4
for him