Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Damn you should kick your own ass for that shit
mashimarox 12
Idiot.
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Comments (233)
SleepingMonster 0
That makes me want to abandon booze forever, wow.
tylerbisel 2
Now the only thing you can do to reverse it is go back in while really drunk, AGAIN! I'm sure you'll make the right choice. ;)
iamcrazy_fml 6
The Hangover 3 :D
zombiejombie 0
H
PinkyPie09 6
Haha sorry OP but you totally deserved it.
azpalomino 4
Hahahahahahahahaha!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!
kawaiichick 9
But coming from a chick who is inked up, a tattooist's creed is to never ink anyone who is intoxicated, due to the fact that the ink won't hold up well because of your blood being so thin. Either way, what a TOTAL IDIOT!
rastafarhi 0
Alcoholism much? Smoke some pot instead worst thing you'll do is forget where you hid your stash.
science_nerd 5
Annnd your a girl, could've sworn you we're a guy while reading it..
rseilicki 0
It's illegal to tattoo drunk people in most states I would sue
rseilicki 0
You're right since Sweden is so much better than the us they probably have way better laws and the tattoo artist is already incarcerated