Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ICastillo 25
Damn you should kick your own ass for that shit
mashimarox 12
Idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
fmlswag 11
Hahahha well I guess the term "YOLO" actually applies, now that you got drunk and somehow got it tattooed on your finger..
kroekdog 7
Get out more
Breakingboo 0
You Obviously Lack Originality
Trisha_aus 15
Can people just stop using that stupid YOLO shit? Please for the love of Thor just stop it!
reddudeover 2
I thought for sure you were Anerican. *Holds a the rest of the world has idiots too parade in your honor.
reddudeover 2
*American *Walks away never seen again.
ShutUpAndStare 7
[French] *joins the parade* One of my American friends can actually name most countries in Europe and Asia! Who knew they actually realized there's something past their border?
white16sox 19
81, I had to memorise most of Eastern Europe for my world history class.
THE_A_TEEN 28
ShutUpAndStare, way to stereotype an entire country, you bumpkin.
redmane 21
I'm so sick and tired of Europeans calling Americans dumb. We're not all brainless idiots just like we're not all obese but we all get labeled as such. It's pretty arrogant and ignorant.
g02hell 2
You're a bigot asshole
redmane 21
I never said that the only ones stereotyping Americans are Europeans. Wow. No, I don't think that the world is just made of the Americas and Europe. I'm not an idiot. Thank you for amusing me. It was a pleasure.
brown4lifejot 1
Ya get out more, get drunk, and get tattoed without really wanting to...is that what you meant? :)
Viuvinha 1
You Obviously Love Oreos
starbucksguy 16
You Obviously Love Ostriches
Viuvinha 1
BLT? Bacon Lettuce Tomato?!
retyi43 14
you TOTALLY deserved it. dumbass
uumlaut_strohson 3
it's even funnier because you're not a dude.