Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Damn you should kick your own ass for that shit
mashimarox 12
Idiot.
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Comments (233)
k18dinkleman 3
You only live once!!
kandi_kid69 15
Not unless you're a zombie... or Jesus.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Or a cat
chokefrantic 9
Wow, drunk you sucks!
Beckyxo 3
Omg your a girl too!! Thats even worse..
charvisioku 22
You should report the tattooist, he shouldn't be letting drunk people get ink. It's immoral and I don't know about Swedish law but it's illegal over here, too. He's a dick for agreeing to give you the tattoo. You're still an idiot, though.
Metthew 15
That tattoo parlor should have a shitarse reputation. If you really care for tattoos, you never do it on drunk people.
TehMaskedWarrior 0
I actualy think that that's kinda cool....
SnoBorder4Life 0
I hate that phrase, next time, don't get completely destroyed when your within a few miles of any tattoo parlour, it obviously doesn't end well.
TehBatman 0
Well at least you didn't have HYFR tatted on you? Still that's a YDI.
thatoneguy79 10
At least it's not permanen... Oh wait. Its origina... wait, nope, can't go there either. Personally insightful or significant? Memorial? No? Oh. Well, I suppose the next best thing is to come up with new and meaningful phrases for the letters, so when someone asks you can say, "Bitch, please, as if. It stands for my great uncles Youseph Ortega, Lincoln Ortega, Mario Ortega, and Frank Ortega." Also, have you checked your back lately? (Thinking of "Kingpin")
_wraith 15
Ouch. Suggestion? Don't drink excessively anymore because you clearly cannot hold your alcohol.