Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML
Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML
Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
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Top comments
pasiphae9 5
Is your garbage can made of metal? If so, attach the live part of a cattle prod to it so when the homeless guy touches it he gets a shock. You can use gloves to pick up the lid, and detach the prod when the garbage men come round :) Nothing could go wrong, trust me.
jennam_fml 4
I agree with number four. It's no different then diapers, and it's in a bag. I put my dogs poop bags in the trash and I've never recieved a letter of any kind about it. But..How did they know it was poop in the bags? Did they rip them open to see? Wtf.
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Comments (112)
mysecondskin 0
#18: go die in hell? really? for posting a possible fake fml? if it is real (which i'm not going to doubt) that really sucks! maybe find a way to lock your trash can?
losergirl 0
props to #6 lmfao and #13 raises a good point.
tronner 0
Someone has a lot of time on their hands if they're going to dissect the feces to determine the mammal responsible. Either that or this FML is bull feces. Who knows.
sneakjoint 0
thats ****** disgusting :(
Naheelawhatwhat 0
How do you know what the bag "contains" if you didn't open it? Where you really that curious to see what a homeless man had in his trash?
AnneFTW 17
That's so epic! I love that guy whoever he is XD
TryToBeKind 0
is there a way you can tape him doing that? I would call the company, tell them what is happening, and at what times. I would also call the police. isn't there a sign that says 'no dumping' or something like that? Outside our store, we have a sign that says that and we have a video camera. Some lady kept pulling up in her car, coming out of her car with a grocery bag, and dumping her booze bottles in there. She got pulled over and is now sitting in jail :-) :-) :-) Her excuse? "The stores nearby can't be bothered to have garbage cans outside the doors anymore." Well, no, there's a reason - people.like.her. Hopefully, that will work for you.
kingbeau 0
Ummmm... Okay... It is slightly different from putting a diaper and dog crap in the trash... But only in terms of amount... some people use adult diapers, where the heck do you people think that goes? And a large dog can make a lot of crap, and you're expected to pick that up and put it in the trash exactly the same way. Not to mention I'd think that the city would want to give that homeless person a medal for actually picking up after himself and not just leaving piles of shit in the sandbox at the playground (and yes, I have seen it)... That conduct is absolutely exemplary in a homeless person...
elliekinslurvsya 0
agree with #4. this is fake.
SuicideSaint_fml 0
Wow, a hobo that tries to be sanitary, that's rare, at least he isn't pooping on your lawn.