Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML
Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML
Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pasiphae9 5
Is your garbage can made of metal? If so, attach the live part of a cattle prod to it so when the homeless guy touches it he gets a shock. You can use gloves to pick up the lid, and detach the prod when the garbage men come round :) Nothing could go wrong, trust me.
jennam_fml 4
I agree with number four. It's no different then diapers, and it's in a bag. I put my dogs poop bags in the trash and I've never recieved a letter of any kind about it. But..How did they know it was poop in the bags? Did they rip them open to see? Wtf.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
snoopy24_fml 0
haha 92...either you have way too much time or (like me) you get very bored with work / life in general. either way, that's a fantastic story =)
blooop_fml 0
You should put locks on your trashcan so only you can open them, and then temporarily remove them on trash day.
darkelf06 0
#95: lol i've never seen that or heard of that idea before but since you witnessed it you should have went up to the guy and said (really politely) "oh im sorry, but you can't place your feces in my garbage can."
shan789mudge 0
haha that made me laugh!
Crystalyo 0
That is seriously disgusting haha(:
dzidziaud 5
Fake. People put bags of poop in trash cans all the time, it's called having a dog. The garbage collectors can't tell the difference between dog crap and human crap.
ymmot 0
dude that stinks
graintrain 0
actually if it was on top it wouldn't have been hard for them to identify it was the OP's trash. I've had the garbage company call me 5 minutes after my trash was picked up to tell me that my car lights were on before - the garbage men do have contact back with their "base." So all they'd have to do was radio/call in the address as soon as they saw it, and it would be documented.
UrRightFML 0
Fake, Yet another FML that sounds to fake to be true. How would they no that it came from ur house?
natalieryanlol 0
yeah how about sticking to the truth you fake ****