Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, I was detained by a stubborn cop who swore he saw me sprinting away after shoplifting. I’m missing part of my right foot, and walk with a cane and a limp, I haven’t sprinted anyplace in 12 years. Not even showing him my foot convinced him. I was sat in his car over an hour. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
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Top comments
racerapj 10
GTA Logic - Someone runs into your car, you get 1 wanted level
Ryan_Jaxson 8
The world is ****** up.
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Comments (142)
Karalela44 15
And of course the first thing you decided to do was make an FML
aeisha26 12
hmmm too many important details being left out of this fml....
Sir_Swaggington 6
Dude vigilante-ism is just stupid and does more harm than good 95% of the time. And the other 5% is still stupid because you're putting yourself and others in harms way. Just mind your business, there's cops to do this stuff which is why we pay taxes. YDI dude. I can't believe you thought it was okay to hit someone with your car just because they lifted something from a Walgreens, a totally non-violent crime that does very little harm.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Vigilance* I had a brain fart lol
white16sox 19
So if I see a guy getting the shit kicked out of him I should just walk by and do nothing? And if I see a kid getting abducted I shouldn't do anything because " I'll do more harm than good,"?( sorry to take your example Alan.)
greeneye_fml 12
"Just mind your business" Yeah, that's what Kitty Genovese's neighbors did. You'd fit right in with them. The OP didn't hit the stupid little punk thief with a car, he blocked him. And he's obviously not a coward like you are.
rqp554 2
You don't get arrested for hitting a pedestrian, just a ticket and probably have to go to court. Fake story
caity_pie 12
I saw this exact same post on Reddit last week...
untamable_mare 4
Don't worry. I would have hit him too.
shaggie101x 5
That's really ****** up...most people commit theft because they don't have something they need...
djgoreo 12
We need to know whether this dude actually ran over the poor kid. That would not be the right answer.
NellyFC35 19
Darn if you do....darn if you don't.
FajitaFreak 3
Actually, it's entirely justified to do so. I have less faith in the cops than I do citizens. If I see a crime committed, I will do what I can to help. It's just what good people do. Cops are important, but rarely do they stop the crime itself. Response time will never be quick enough for that until teleportation is invented.