Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was at Walmart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man came up to me and said, "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML
Today, I had to present a powerpoint in front of my class. When I was finished, no one clapped. On my way back to my seat, I slipped on a pencil and fell straight on my face. That's when everyone clapped. FML
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Top comments
Jimster1712 0
Thats what you get for messing with the guy who created you as a result of his ******.
no_clue_4_u 4
All the best stories start with "I went to Wal-Mart".
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Comments (107)
saIty 17
Did the crowd then proceed to chant "ENCORE, ENCORE, ENCORE?"
CJeanne 2
That's hilarious, thanks for sharing, made me literally lol :)
pondermuse 5
You got owned by your own dad. Oh, the shame... fyl.
ImmaB3AST 7
Dads ALWAYS win.
25shark 5
Way to go, dipstick
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Haha your dad's cool
dani212 0
I can't wait to see this on people of Walmart!
Fustercluck 14
People of walmart...
THE_A_TEEN 28
... We are here, we are waiting.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Welcome to 2011. Where normal people are no longer coordinated enough to do more than eat and use cellphones.
lionandthelamb61 9
Actually, I think you have it backwards. Multi-tasking is the name of the 21st century game. You think you could churn butter, ride to town, write a letter, and mend stockings at the sam time? I don't think so, bro. I've tried it; not as easy as you might think.
Levvy 22
I'm at a loss as to what physical motion anyone could ever possibly consciously decide to make that would cause them to kick their own leg instead of someone beside them. Wouldn't you move your outer leg outward? Maybe if you for some reason decided to move your leg AWAY from your target and behind yourself, but... I'm just at a loss.
Leota_fml 5
Its your own fault for being so uncoordinated. Lmao.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Meh, nobody is perfect.