Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
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Top comments
Jackey 29
After spending way too much time on the 'people of Walmart' website, this doesn't surprise me in the least...
RichardPencil 32
Obviously, you pushed her fart butt-on. It’s a standard feature on fatties, along with milkshake-throwing.
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Comments (9)
TCRII 30
You have excellent timing for physical comedy.
Jackey 29
After spending way too much time on the 'people of Walmart' website, this doesn't surprise me in the least...
RichardPencil 32
Obviously, you pushed her fart butt-on. It’s a standard feature on fatties, along with milkshake-throwing.
Mellissa Maxwell 7
Stick to your terrible jokes, pencil dick.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
This'll look great on the people of Walmart webpage
Mellissa Maxwell 7
YDI. Her weight is t relevant. You're just triggered and butthurt that you fell, and got farted on. Maybe shop elsewhere since you're too good.
julfunky 29
At least you had some cushion for the fall.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why does it matter that she's obese? Skinny women fart too. Would you not have cared if she'd been skinny?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why does it matter that she's obese? Skinny women fart too. Would you not have cared if she'd been skinny?