Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML
Today, I went to the Walgreens by my house and bought 8 body wash soaps because my boyfriend needs that much for 3 days. I’ve done this so many times that the girls at the register know me, and my boyfriend, by name. They gave me a bunch of $5 off coupons because they felt so bad for me. FML
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Top comments
pb_fml 0
Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.
jennaleigh 0
This is gross, but pretty amusing.
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Comments (109)
dcunited09 0
ky is the way to go.
KilgoreTrout_fml 0
Are we talking a regular sized container or do you actually mean a big tub? Cause that would make it so much funnier XD
EffYoLife 14
#33 he said the man was right! pay attention!
UNHWildcats 0
I'm sorry to hear that, my friend.
Houdeka 0
No 33 he was beat and raped in the alley.
skgirl 0
even the old man knows when you can't get any ahahaha lmao made me laugh also imagianed this haha
Francis1990 0
ive tried vaseline and I dont think it works very good for anal pleasures....
Biohazard808 0
you should've replied back with a joke like "oh it's for your wife" or something
d4m4s74 12
If I buy something people might make jokes about I always prepare a comeback. For example with your problem I'd say "no, this is for my lips. But that reminds me... *turn to costumer behind me* can you walk over there and get me some ky?"
misslittlelady 0
the funny thing is OP never said what he was using it for. as far as we know hes using it for a project or something, and the fact that he has gotten laid in months could be completely irrelevant. HAH!