Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML
Today, I went to the Walgreens by my house and bought 8 body wash soaps because my boyfriend needs that much for 3 days. I’ve done this so many times that the girls at the register know me, and my boyfriend, by name. They gave me a bunch of $5 off coupons because they felt so bad for me. FML
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Top comments
pb_fml 0
Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.
jennaleigh 0
This is gross, but pretty amusing.
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Comments (109)
jacob150 0
your an idiot! your supposed to buy something else in addition to the vaseline!
Madman19 0
He would know from experience.....if any you may have given an idea of what to on his next bathroom break.
mecha_fml 0
Story of my life bro.
DiAGO77 0
Use KY dude vaseline is old school and you would have saved yourself the humiliation becasue i'm sure he wouldn't have know what it is .
Lyynyyrd 0
Didn't read most of this shit, but... You're not supposed to use oil-based lubricants on your penis.
chelseybuns 0
Wow. You all really relate to this FML... that's really sad. you all have the same problems.... you really need girlfriends.
wtfxup 0
can't vaseline give you canceR?
iloveyouu_ 1
lmao lmao wow. go to a club.
IMz0r 0
#11.. Toilet Paper, Slimjims, and vaseline. That looks WAY worse than vaseline, trust me.
Body_piercer1984 0
Lube is a little less damaging when you get it in places you shouldnt... maybe you should pick that up next time