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guitarki Monroe, United States

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

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guitarki tells us more.

guitarki 11

Hey, OP here. I made an account so that I could comment. When it happened, there was nothing I could say to her to make her stop. I asked her several times to please stop talking about it, and I was so embarrassed, but she wouldn't listen to me. I ended up just getting my stuff together and leaving. I'm not very close to the people in the group, so I felt uncomfortable with being so exposed to them. I talked to her afterwards in private and told her that it was really uncool of her to keep talking about it when I asked her to stop. She claimed that she didn't think it was that big of a deal, since when I told her at the time, I didn't say that it was meant to be a secret. I guess I just never thought to let her know that I didn't want her to blab to everyone about my personal issues. She also made sure to clarify to me that when she said it wasn't any of my business, she meant that it was not my conversation to butt into, even though I was literally right beside her. This incident made me realize that she really isn't a very good friend to me. She has never acted this way until recently, so I never thought to avoid telling her things. I do know that I'll definitely not be confiding in her anymore though.

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

Georgia0p 17

I'd reconsider calling her your 'best' friend

MrsPegg 45

Quite the friend you have there OP. Surely hope you put her in her place and took up for yourself since she obviously has no respect for you! Definitely don't trust her anymore...

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Comments (98)

Scryll 17

Just gotta get out there OP!

cheeeksss 29

I think OP just needs a new best friend.

Scryll 17

Could get out there as well then her "best friend" would have nothing to talk about? Obviously this friend has qualities that OP enjoys so why end a friendship over a stupid mistake or lack of confidentiality?

Scryll 17

If she shares more of your personal information then maybe it's time to quit sharing with her

Mojo0608 26

It's not the oversharing that appears to be the problem - it's the callousness of "Um, it's really none of your business." and how she didn't stop. A friend would stop when asked (at least mine would).

Just_A_Tree 20

A real friend doesn't share personal issues. Though, the OP should be a bit more careful about what they tell others, the friend has violated trust. Therefore, cannot be trusted until they understand what they were doing wrong. I'm not saying ignore them forever, you cannot communicate what they did wrong that way and you lose a friend. But if it goes with impunity, then it will keep happening.

yuno_gasai_fml 34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

I totally understand how uncomfortable it must've been, maybe you could've put on headphones(if you had them with you) or just try distract yourself by doing something else?

thatguynamedsky 32

that wouldnt stop her "friend" from talking, sure OP wouldn't hear her, but everyone else would.

jadeleepenguin 29

That's not really going to help her when her "best friend" is telling everyone her personal secrets.

amileah13 26

Would you like it if you had the same struggles and your best friend was spilling it all out to your friends? That would be embarrassing

elizacandle 29

Did you misread? Her friend was talking about OPs personal issues and I assume had confided in her BF who was now running her mouth.

Norja 33

Headphones?! Did you actually read the FML? Terrible advice!

yuno_gasai_fml 34

Sorry guys, I totally misread the FML, I guess I deserve the down votes. It thanks for telling me

Georgia0p 17

I'd reconsider calling her your 'best' friend

ohSNAPyall 27

Sounds like OP has. Check out the username.

Norja 33

The username changed. It was neednewbestfriend or something like that before.

FMLusername969 21

Guitar key...i think.

guitarki 11

yeah, I had to make an account to comment, so it changed the username.

MrsPegg 45

Quite the friend you have there OP. Surely hope you put her in her place and took up for yourself since she obviously has no respect for you! Definitely don't trust her anymore...

incoherentrmblr 22

Don't trust anyone, not even yourself...

lucythomson 23

Friends like that aren't worth keeping. Revenge is a dish best served cold, just saying...

randomname98 22

I prefer to say that revenge is a dish best served awesome!

bettyc4 26

Get a dog. At least that bitch can't talk back.

TheBelt 19

Haha "that bitch can't talk back."

tanishpradhan 20

You need new friends OP. Next time.. Confide in more reliable sources.. Like a blog.. :D

jomar_19 17

you should drop her, thats not a best friend, a best friend helps you with your struggles and not tell other people. but FYL OP

Cads1 24

This is an excellent example of why you should fix your own problems. Now put on your grown up pants and fix it. There is a reason why you refer to them as your problems.

acerredrum 23

Because god forbid that anyone ever ask for advice. Don't know how to fix your brakes? Better figure it out on your own, asking for help is for *******.

Cads1 24

Think you may have missed the point there. A mechanical failure of a piece of machinery is a little different than working out a personal problem on your own. Working things out on your own makes you stronger and ensures it is a lesson not soon forgotten. But if I have upset you, please refer to my profile.

acerredrum 23

Nope, no interest in reading your profile. As they are not different, how is my first break up any different than my first brake job? Something is broken and I've never dealt with it before, turning to those who have for help will help me learn to fix what is broken on my own in the future. That is why support groups exist, because it helps to talk to someone who understands what we are going through.

Cads1 24

People live through break ups. Brake failures can kill for one. OP talk to a trusted friend and got slapped in the face as such. I hope she learns from this, becomes stronger and finds happiness. But most importantly, gets some new friends. Thank you for the spirited discussion, I do enjoy it.

Galamond 10

Do you even have friends, 35? Because you just did a good job sounding like a jerk.

Cads1 24

I do, we all work for the same company but in different areas of the country. A couple I have seen once or twice in the last 10 or so years. But when we catch up, it is like no time has passed. I am lucky to have excellent people like that in my life.

SneezyBear 27

#Cads - I must assume you're just being a sarcastic ass. Surely you must realise that one of the best suicide prevention methods out there is encouraging people to seek support for their problems? Some people really DON'T live through breakups. You wanna know who is less likely to survive? Men - men are three times as likely as women to die from suicide. Because, um, they don't talk to anyone about their problems. And, like brake failures, suicides can kill people. Lmao

Cads1 24

All valid points and well said.

lovethatstach 18

suicides can kill people..lmfao?!?! suicide is funny?

SneezyBear 27

#66 ... wow did that go over your head. Suicide is most certainly NOT funny. I laughed at my own gross understatement that "suicides 'can' kill people". Must be late where you are.

Sheepalicious 20

dont feed this troll. youll only regret it.

Llama_Face89 34

This type of advice is how school shootings happen..

syed121417 22

Oh, I'm sorry, k had no idea grown ups were perfect beings that weren't allowed to say anything about any issue they are having about those close to them. Newsflash: putting on grown up pants (while yes, does mean fixing your problems) does not mean that you suddenly lose all rights to ever complain to talk about your problems. Grown ups are people, too. Especially with the type of issues OP is having, where it's not really something you just figure out all of a sudden. If you think that grown ups never ask for help with something, then you must think that all grown ups are the equivalent of Superman.

syed121417 22

Exactly! Like try telling a mentally ill "grown up" to fix their own problems.

jmigs17 19

Just remember. She doesn't have a confirmed posted FML, which is a mighty accomplishment. She will never be on your level of awesomeness. You Do OP, that makes you a goddess among men. Kinda like Thor. Damn. Can I get your autograph OP? Make it out to "idk where this comment is going anymore"