Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
Today, I spent the morning with my estranged mom to try and mend some fences. In two hours she managed to insult me 56 times on subjects such as my career, outfit, husband, children, hairstyle, and so on. Plus she “forgot her purse” so I had to spend £80 for the privilege of being insulted. FML
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML
Today, I visited my Mum. She has invited me to visit her before, but kept cancelling whenever I tried to arrange an actual visit. I finally went over anyway, only to find her in a soiled nappy, room in ruins, with kidney failure-induced dementia. Sometimes they hide it well over the phone. FML
Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML
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Top comments
carOLinneeeeeee 8
Your mum needs to get over herself.
RoseBlack123 37
And that's why you don't visit her again
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Comments (72)
worldclassrager 41
Wow...that's uncalled for...
fooltemptress 36
Pull a Scarlett O'Hara from "Gone with the Wind" and turn her curtains into a dress. Then you'll definitely match the decor!
ForkymeetsPorky 15
You should've Fung-Sheyed(?) her ass out that door.
TheBrochure 22
Feng shui. Yeah, it's weird.
dawnimus 21
I wonder if this got put in the Animals/Pets category because OP's mother is a total bitch?
Omniprism 15
She's crazy. Literally. She needs some help. And I'm sorry that happened. I hope you realize she's the one with the problem and none of it is your fault.
Allratsgottadie 5
Must have been that time of the month. Come back next week.
Blink182ismylife 4
That's stupid. Not every crazy decision from a woman is because it's 'her time of the month'. I think the person's mother is just an idiot.
mybubbles2000 13
It would be a very long time before I went to visit her again. I wonder if she will ever get the hint.
Ray_of_midnight 23
yeah, I think I'd take a permanent vacation from visiting her.
ballpython 15
OP, I'm sorry. There is really nothing else to say.
KingreX32 21
are you freaking kidding me.
BradTheBrony 19
r u avin a giggle mum il smash ur fookin ead in sware on u
OnlyTheDarkest 17
-Searching frantically for a translator- What the ****..???