Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
Today, I spent the morning with my estranged mom to try and mend some fences. In two hours she managed to insult me 56 times on subjects such as my career, outfit, husband, children, hairstyle, and so on. Plus she “forgot her purse” so I had to spend £80 for the privilege of being insulted. FML
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML
Today, I visited my Mum. She has invited me to visit her before, but kept cancelling whenever I tried to arrange an actual visit. I finally went over anyway, only to find her in a soiled nappy, room in ruins, with kidney failure-induced dementia. Sometimes they hide it well over the phone. FML
Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML
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Top comments
carOLinneeeeeee 8
Your mum needs to get over herself.
RoseBlack123 37
And that's why you don't visit her again
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Comments (72)
M3DIC4T3 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first
carOLinneeeeeee 8
No one cares.
Jemm_fml 29
Mods, instead of deleting this comment, edit it into something fabulous.
carOLinneeeeeee 8
Your mum needs to get over herself.
icyhottt 11
She sounds like a very...... artistic, lady
Arrow44 10
Um I think OP needs to re-evaluate her attitude. I mean, who doesn't check in before going somewhere to pick an outfit? Geez, people nowadays.
fantita495 19
#29 was being sarcastic...
micha090 21
OP your mom is going to be alone with no relatives or friends if shes's going to behave this way.
RoseBlack123 37
And that's why you don't visit her again
SpaceRaptor 8
And burn the house down?
SolarFlare 20
simple, paint her decor in the color of your outfit.
kitkatmeOw 8
Or when selecting nursing homes, find the one with the most obnoxious decor.
jrock9093 18
So dumb, you didn't want to be there any ways
Likian5 26
OP never said she didn't want to go visit her mother.
Angel_of_Night 10
Wow.. Somebody took their bitchy pill.
FrietvanPiet 16
I'd rather say forgot to take their prescription pills.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Everyone knows house wives need their Xanax or else they get all out of whack. Hurry, OP, refill the script or you'll have loose cannon aimed right at you!
tommylover842 23
Geez what's wrong with you OP?? You should know better than that! You always have to match the rug, always.
Smoxxii 17
Don't forget about that one big rule! : Make sure your eyes match the drapes.
Jemm_fml 29
I wonder if her cat matches the drapes? Pun so intended.
Llama_Face89 34
Take you long to come up with that one?
Llama_Face89 34
I believe the turn of phrase is "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
orris 5
I'm sorry. Just be grateful you haven't inherited her bad traits OP!
Bano360 25
It's a sign to never visit her again.
Kiki242 19
So, she must walk around in the same color all the time right?