Today, I went to the store to buy new blankets and a comforter. A cute guy started chatting with me and asked about the new bedroom decor. I lied and said I just had a major break up and needed new things, instead of admitting I was too lazy to dig out and wash my winter blankets from last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, I dressed cute to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years. Instead of being happy or impressed about it, he accused me of cheating and dressing up to impress a new guy he'd made up in his head. FML
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
I hope you sleep well in your blanket of lies. Lies I say.
Mauskau 36
You didn't even need to say you had a break up, people replace blankets and duvets all the time.
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Comments (29)
ApplePie1994 27
why lie? Just enjoy your new blanket and **** the begrudgers.
wow2mylife 25
why didn't you just invited you mom over dinner and you know how much they want to help have her help you get them out and wash them problem done and save you money
Cain6464 10
I don't get the 'that could've happened to me' thing, isn't it supposed to be 'you deserved it' ???
Zebediabolical 45
"I was just in the mood for a change,." See how easy it is not to have to make up a big lie?
Skoff_fml 27
Jokes on you, you're supppsed to wash new bedding before you use it.
vicfirthfan 11
or just wash your ******* blankets
faeryofshalott 25
Why is it that this does not have a YDI when it is obviously the OPs fault? You didn't want to get your blankets from storage and wash them. So you bought new ones. And you chose to lie about it to impress a cute guy. So you definitely deserve it.
jessicasoho 13
Your situation basically sums up everything in my closet. I need help.
MetaMouse 3
Must be nice to have that kind of disposable income.
roryabester 8
umm wouldn't it be more work to go to the store spend an hour looking for your new bedding then you gotta bring it home throw out all the packaging wash it dry it ect thats easier than going in a closet and opening a box 0.o