Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
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Top comments
popcynical 4
Idea for not saying anything.
JiggaJayZ 16
Potty mouth!
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Comments (336)
JiggaJayZ 16
Potty mouth!
rnbz 0
Don't get pissy(;
amanda_say_whutt 9
I dunno about you, but I would of straight up said something. That's nasty.
pie29302930 0
******* sue them, then find a new dentist. Lmao
bulgeinmypants 0
Cuz you were talking shit
rallets 23
youre in trouble
lilemmy55 10
I woulda slapped a hoe .
tellithowitis 13
SOUNDS LIKE UR-INE TROUBLE!!!!
akg98 13
Omg!!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwww! :p
tjv3 10
YDI if you didn't say something
leogirl95 12
Oh my god, that's disgusting...sue them!
blackheart24 10
I totally woulda said something to that bitch. That's ****** nasty.
XenaWP 6
The people who are saying "sue them" are idiots.. Yes she should have washed her hands, but OP should have said something. Maybe you could bring it up with the main practitioner to reinforce hygiene procedures. No need to try and take down a whole company because of one incident/person. Those that are sue-happy don't think of the repercussions for others in that surgery..
DryHumor 4
What does disease taste like?
JayBear14 11
159- Pee is sterile last I heard. Unless the woman has some type of disease that can be passed through urine.
topie_fml 6
Please tell me that you had an orbit afterwards.
Ferretface 13
160- Urban legend.
monkeys1315 0
I think it is sterile until it hits oxygen or something like that
FarSide 23
It's not the smell that will give you AIDS.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
189- No. Urine is sterile.
longlostgirl 4
That is ****** nasty
Sathian 0
Everyone, go to http://first-world-problems.com/. It's pretty much the same site. Honestly, it's pathetic that you guys complain about small problems most of the time. I understand that some of the posts are serious problems but there was one like, "My husband threw a snowball at me when I was on the toilet." Really? You'll get over it in 5 minutes. Man the **** up and stop complaining.
Penises_are_fun 0
Everyone, go to http://first-world-problems.com/. It's pretty much the same site. Honestly, it's pathetic that you guys complain about small problems most of the time. I understand that some of the posts are serious problems but there was one like, "My husband threw a snowball at me when I was on the toilet." Really? You'll get over it in 5 minutes. Man the **** up and stop complaining.
Penises_are_fun 0
Everyone, go to http://first-world-problems.com/. It's pretty much the same site. Honestly, it's pathetic that you guys complain about small problems most of the time. I understand that some of the posts are serious problems but there was one like, "My husband threw a snowball at me when I was on the toilet." Really? You'll get over it in 5 minutes. Man the **** up and stop complaining.
Penises_are_fun 0
Everyone, go to http://first-world-problems.com/. It's pretty much the same site. Honestly, it's pathetic that you guys complain about small problems most of the time. I understand that some of the posts are serious problems but there was one like, "My husband threw a snowball at me when I was on the toilet." Really? You'll get over it in 5 minutes. Man the **** up and stop complaining.
blaackandprouud 20
That's nasty
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Pee is sterile she was just using it to clean off the gloves after dealing with your dirty mouth! This really should read "Today, I put my dentist through hell due to me not properly taking care of my oral hygiene. FHL" ^.^
whoopdydoop69 6
Bear Grylls would be in heaven if this happened to him
herpitydurteedur 0
Pee may be sterile, but last I checked vaginal fluids and sweat weren't :/
bamagrl410 31
It's ironic that I'm sitting in the chair at the dentist while reading this. Now I'm slightly afraid...
ZebcoGirl 0
Ahh hell no. I wouldnt have let her get anywhere near me with those hands. Thats disgusting. I cant believe OP would even let her finish doing his teeth when he knew that..
tommon11 0
I bet you had a crappy time.
fakedsincerity 32
pee is only sterile until it hits the air.
magnetic_aura 26
Pee is not sterile, unfortunately!
Lo0o0o0oveMe 11
Nasty bro, FYL indeed
4everblackjack 10
Ugh agree, couldn't you have told her to wash her hands? :3
Cleao18317 11
Gloves....
Lanceeden 12
I wonder if op got a boner.
Dontstealmyname 11
A boner from gloves that smell like pee? I think not, unless OP is into some weird fetish. Still.. Ew.
Lanceeden 12
I'm making a reference to a recent fml. I agree. That would be abnormal to become sexually aroused at urine covered latex inside ones mouth.
hutch66 13
Op kind of deserves it for not saying anything though.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Maybe OP is the guy who was licking the dental assistants fingers who was wearing flavored gloves and she was doing it as revenge?
dav3800 7
I know what I'm asking next time I go to the dentists.
emilymac420 0
Who doesn't love someone who corrects what they aren't sure of!?
YOUareALLretards 1
That's because taste is something like 70% or higher smell
kieran247 0
Everyone, go to http://first-world-problems.com/. It's pretty much the same site. Honestly, it's pathetic that you guys complain about small problems most of the time. I understand that some of the posts are serious problems but there was one like, "My husband threw a snowball at me when I was on the toilet." Really? You'll get over it in 5 minutes. Man the **** up and stop complaining.
Meme1988 18
Here is an idea.. Why didn't YOU ask her to change her gloves?
LittleAngel12 5
Sorry Op that really sucks
DrDilllonReese 12
Mmm mmm good?
npnptracking 7
No..just no
afulks78 11
Not funny.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Dude. That's gross.
SouthernKiller 4
Toally Funny
Lo0o0o0oveMe 11
Tasted like piss. Obviously. DERP
me_gusta_eso 1
Go stand in a corner, and think about what you just said.
taytay6510 6
Weren't you taught proper manners...your mother must be so ashamed.
valdancer99 0
What did it taste like?
macy143 0
Im gunna take a wild guess here and say.. Pee?
valdancer99 0
I don't recall knowing the taste of pee. Maybe that's just me.
CoteDePablo 0
Macy got burned.
macy143 0
Well if you asked Bob from Texas what her hand tasted like, he would probably say pee too!!!!
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
You can ask Bear Grylls how pee tastes like too you know ;)
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Well they are always free...
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
^^ lol you saw that episode too? :)
MrsWojtowicz 16
Did you know that when you smell things, you're actually tasting them too? For instance, in preschool, they had us chew on an apple and smell cinnamon, which resulted in the flavor of cinnamon apples. Yeah. . . Think of that next time you smell someone's fart. ;)
Nutty4Muffs 3
Did you guys also see the one where he whacks off in to a snake skin and drinks it? Now that's mmm mmm good.
j_cat187 20
#53 Your mom tasted like head cheese
me_gusta_eso 1
Yeah but I think common sense tell us that pee doesn't taste very good? Maybe that's just me.
spazticdonkey 0
Haha like fresh baby's
starfish7 18
Maybe she was doing something else ;)
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Jeebus. Thanks pal - you took away my appetite. Bleccchhhh
popcynical 4
Idea for not saying anything.
Rachel1987 4
I agree
evilplatypus 39
Thirded
StopDropNRoll 11
But it's hard to say something with a hand in your mouth. Also what if he was numbed out its hard to talk when you can't feel half your face
Marcella1016 32
To everyone else except 65 - exactly
ImaginaryFoe 1
Have you never been to a dentist, 65? You can put up a finger and the dentist / hygienist / orthodontist will stop. Also, numbing doesn't interfere with talking all that much.
emilymac420 0
65- if someone had pis hands in your mouth, I'm pretty positive you're going to make your mouth open no matter how hard..
StopDropNRoll 11
True it's cause the last time I went to the dentist my mouth was all retarded an I had a hard time rising. But I was able to talk -_-
RawrGoesTheDino4 0
I just got my braces tightened and your aloud to make a noise raise a finger etc.. And the orthodontist will stop and ask you what's wrong and they only numb your mouth fro actually putting on the brackets not for tightening
Checker 20
It's pretty hard to speak with a hand in your mouth
Checker 20
I did not notice this was already said, so I thumb myself down in disgrace
Checker 20
I did not notice this was already said, so I thumb myself down in disgrace
docscientist 10
130 - there are other ways to get attention and communicate, if it bothered op enough, and/or if op had a backbone, he would've tried.
KRS_13 0
OP probably tried but she had her hands in their mouth. We've all been to the dentist at least once (most likely right?) and we know it's hard to talk with hands in your mouth.
RawrGoesTheDino4 0
274 there's alternate methods to communicating at a dentist orthodontist
hugs1976 0
And as everyone else is saying, OP could have raised a finger or hand to signal to the dentist to stop. I don't know a dentist out there that wouldn't allow the patient to tell them something is uncomfortable. OP may not have had the guts to make the dentist change their gloves.
Outsider_77 0
Were you pissed?
ItsTheKing 10
Probably. Why would op have to take that shit.
RetardedChipmunk 7
I think you missed the pun...
verredoh 4
I think YOU missed his pun
detroitsucks247 3
I think you missed HIS SARCASM (all of you)
bearnblue 0
Gleek on her by "accident"
builditbetter09 3
-_- lame
chickenwalrus 14
no... piss on her on purpose!
kkbaby3 0
i love you like a love song baby
oh_your_god 15
It makes me want to throw up on her.. On purpose.
rayrayray23 1
103- I don't like love songs....
JiggaJayZ 16
Why does mainstream music have to be such garbage?????? WHY!!!???
Mewzakuro240 0
161- SOME PEOPLE WANNA FILL THE WORLD WITH SILLY LOVE SONGS! And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know. Cause here I go... *could actually do the rest, and won't.*
Blueglasscup 18
That's ******* disgusting. I hope you filed a complaint.
beagle351 0
I would too. If I asked for the bubblegum flavor and got pee instead, I would have some strong words for the owner.
sailoroftheseas 7
ha second hand piss
monkeybanana 7
1- hahaha :)
RetardedChipmunk 7
Did you know that you can comment on other comments?
belkinbra 12
How?
BluuGirl 4
Why didn't you say anything?!