Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriend's emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard that she had a seizure and passed out. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
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Top comments
unfortunate_13 5
and you listen to her?? just leave and never come back.
enonymous 9
Seizure? or the most mind blowing ****** she has ever had and she wants you to take notes? I'll let you decide
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Comments (241)
zourwolfe 0
^^^ epicccc.
Cenobyte 10
Seriously, leave!
erick0619 0
there's also the one where you whisper in her ear I have aids
sarapsosis 1
LMAOO
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Guilty conscience- hospital and seizure condition :)
AwkwardPartyBear 24
35 win ^_^
Pharsyde 0
drop that bitch, just like she did to her panties!
vonne 0
why would she be in another dudes bed if shes ur gf?
DocBastard 40
She's obviously a mattress repair technician, and she was merely testing the coils. Unfortunately she spilled some coffee on her pants and had to take them off, and the guy was kind enough to launder them for her. It was all quite innocent, I can assure you.
Cenobyte 10
Of course! How did we not see that? *smacks forehead* :D
Gucci_107 0
LMFAO! what a great story (;
Wiggy_78 0
LMAO.
TraceCase_ 19
^Hahaha...that's so good I might actually believe it! Doc, you'd make a great salesman
L0veRebeccaBlack 0
Epic （＾＿＾）☆
FML85 0
what a *****.. dumb her for someone sane and hot!
BleakAsFcuk 0
Does this even exist?
XxHITMAN11895xX 3
bitchs be crazy
sarapsosis 1
& take a dump on her