Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
TJhudson181 12
How old are you again? If you're over like 8, YDI.
Cashtangoteam 10
I'm sorry, but it's fun as hell to be pushed around in the shopping cart, regardless of how old you are.
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Comments (68)
echosaints 5
Wait I dont understand..He's gonna push u into a car and sue the driver? On what planet would that be the drivers fault?
mario2012 18
Planet Hisanus.
apples723 0
that sucks
loloalltheway 23
Suing seriously? USA -_-
KiddNYC1O 22
Be quiet. Both you and #41.
purpleprincess17 1
It's people like your dad the make normal people hate America.
Beemss 1
Thats funny, i always tell me kids we are going to Target to exchange them for new kids.
pradip 26
good start, ur first comment on FML brought out a laugh keep it up
mahdi8130 8
Seems like he's joking, so i really don't see this as a fml.
zuelhater 7
Holy sh** people like your dad actually exist!?
hannnahmarie 14
That makes noo sense at all.
blablablabla5555 5
um... how old are you that you still think it's cool to be pushed around in a cart..?
mymegangirl 7
ydi. good God, how old are you?