Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my best friend's elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iarefatal 9
You weakened him up for her, right?
SonOfAMitch 14
Eh, it's not that bad... at least she didn't up getting hurt and actually defended herself However, I still feel sorry for you OP :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe from now on you shouldn't try to beat anyone up. But at least your girlfriend can defend herself.
karlee333 11
It's okay OP, you care enough for your girlfriend that you would take on a guy who you probably knew could kick your ass. Regardless, Now at least you know who your next wingman.. err, woman, will be in another fight!
ZombieSnoopy 9
in a male-female relationship someones gotta be a man...
1dvs_bstd 41
Breaking up with her would be interesting. Better hit the gym brah.
BlowinChronic 18
Saying "brah" automatically tags you as a douchebag. I wouldn't recommend using the word ever again.
zombieslayer83 19
Nothing wrong with a woman that can handle business.
jjbond01 4
So..be happy that's a good woman. Just remember next time you demand something you can't threaten to domestic violence her..
maddygirl820 10
Well at least she knows how to defend herself
sgtcxelite 11
Psh, you weakened him. But at least you made the point that you care enough for her to defend her when shit like that happens. You tried, OP. If she isn't grateful for that then she can go **** herself.
missbrad 4
Er I don't think the problem was her being ungrateful, but I'm sure if she was she wouldn't have stuck up for him afterwards... ******* herself is a bit harsh.
zenrael 21
Can't hit a girl!
Zomg_Okay 27
Why not? If she tries to hit you, where's the problem in hitting back?
showmeyourears 19
That's the stupidest thing ever. If she's tough enough to fight, she's tough enough to be fought. By a man or a woman. Guys who won't defend themselves against a woman because "you're not supposed to hit a girl" are pathetic.
Brett41 10
I agree with you on the thought of men fighting back against girls tough enough to start one, but not so much on the men who dont fight back are pathetic thing.. its more of an image thing. Its possible that by fighting back you could be looked at as an asshole, and lets not forget that a police officer might not take the mans side.. and some judicial hearings may not sympathize with a guys plight..lol
Zomg_Okay 27
Simple solution - try and restrain her without actually hitting her. Anything, really, as long as you aren't standing there taking a beating because "I can't fight a girl".
tishtashbat 16
I think this goes wrong at 'I tried to fight him' - don't start fights you aren't sure you can finish. Also, just because he grabbed her ass, doesn't mean you have to fight him. I'm not saying don't stand up for your girlfriend, I'm just saying there's no need to try and beat him up. Slight overreaction in my opinion.
poccocurantes 7
Possibly, but don't really know how far the guy was pushing it. I try to avoid a fight at all costs because you never know what the other guy is capable of, but if someone is harassing my girlfriend, wife, family member I will and don't expect me to fight fair.
Dracoboxer357 36
36- I'm with you 100%. :) I don't care in the least how big that bastard is, someone's sexually assaulting my wife, win, lose, or draw, I'm going for the gold, and to hell with the rest. :p
missbrad 4
Yeah 27 I wouldn't be to impressed if my boyfriend tried to fight someone over just that, if I was harmed that's different but most situations can be resolved with just words, that is if the person is mature and not a show off psycho.
poccocurantes 7
Totally agree machismo aside. The fact Op was rendered unconscious is a pretty good example of why you should only fight as a last resort. I almost learned that the hard way. A guy at a party did the same thing to my then GF. I did try to avoid it but both my GF and the guy kept pushing me. I only hit him twice but he went to the hospital and if the people at the party hadn't lied and said he hit me first I probably would have gone to jail and been sued. I hear that he developed a stutter after that.