Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes, so I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes… but at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML
Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML
Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
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Top comments
jordinomoose 0
Smoking is bad for you...
FYLDeep 26
Jeez, now your foot is probably as disgusting looking as your lungs.
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Comments (111)
hellonyancat 6
Ouch! Although, now I'm wondering if your house is just surrounded by old cigarettes you've stomped out. Get an ashtray out there and this won't be an issue.
melonrind 8
I'm quite sure op knows exactly how detrimental smoking is to their health; so, hopefully we are spared all the ydi because smoking is bad commentary ....it's funny that of all the ways to be impacted negatively by smoking, that your foot was the victim :) Feel better!
Okayitwasme 0
Don't like the negativity? Get out of the kitchen!
breadfruit 0
First I made all of your cigarettes vanish. You bought new ones. Then I made all of your lighters vanish. You bought new ones. Finally, I made your shoes vanish. Will that get you to stop smoking or will we have to go to round 10 like a certain Egyptian did? Sincerely, God
Yetifoot 0
Hi God. Can I have an xbox 360?
breadfruit 0
Alright, I apologize. This comment was judgmental and self-righteous. OP, you have the right to do whatever you want without harming others; sorry you burned your foot; everyone has their forgetful moments; and good job being considerate and going outside. Still YDI, though, simply because it's kind of dumb to step on something that was basically on fire just seconds before with bare feet.
chili10 18
Really? Smoking doesn't effect others? So secondhand smoke is a myth? Hm... Interesting.
breadfruit 0
You're right. Secondhand smoke has been proven to be harmful. I was just trying to make up for the lack of respect in my first comment.
jesbar95 10
Why do you think OP went outside?
gabrielbaby 9
How is this judgemental or self righteous?
thurjones 6
Yeah, the dangers of second-hand smoke are largely false and overblown. It's all based on one study which has been entirely discredited. It's jokers like you that are campaigning against E Cigarettes.
downtime 13
One study? Interesting. I just typed second hand smoke into pubmed and found 9245 articles. Funny though that you claim this one study was discredited, do tell us your references, since you claim to be all-knowing on the topic this should not be too difficult. If it was genuinely discredited then there would definitely be evidence to support that theory, oddly I don't see it in any literature. So go for it, enlighten us.
xbella 8
shouldn't smoke in the first place.
sweet_candy_ 17
That little burn is nothing compared to the pain your going have if you keep smoking.
sweet_candy_ 17
*You're
chili10 18
I don't know why this is thumbed down, this is completely true.
pfx2_fml 15
Cancer on a stick
cBlackout 13
*In a stick
pfx2_fml 15
Cancer on a stick
cr3ativity 15
Well first of all, smoking is bad for you. 2nd, you ought to put on some shoes when you go outside.
michael509 1
Damn that blows
alycion 39
For all of those who are ydi for smoking, do you not have any bad habits? Do you live a completely healthy life style. Most who start regret it. The companies know how to make it as addicting as it is and it's hard to quit. Though op an ashtray outside could solve the problem. No reason to stomp butts out on the ground and make a bad habit worse. Hope the foot feels better though.
chili10 18
Yes, as a matter of fact I have a very bad habit of cracking my knuckles. But is that going to give me cancer or take years off my life?
chili10 18
I found out that it has that effect about 5 months ago. As soon as I found that out I began working on quitting. I don't like knowingly harming my body, but at least nobody suffers except me. That was my point.
JinxosGirl87 0
According to several medical articles I've read, there is no direct link between cracking knuckles and arthritis. There isn't enough proof or studies that support that claim, but they aren't ruling it out either.
Unlucky_Gun 0
I was one of the ones who voted YDI for smoking, and I also voted YDI because OP stomped his cig out in socks or barefeet. I have a bad habit, but it's not gonna give me cancer and/or kill me. I used to have a habit of biting my nails and I quit that. OP still deserves it for smoking