Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I went on a lunch date with a guy I used to work with. When the conversation got dry, I asked him if he went by “Chris” or “Christopher” these days. His name is Daniel. My brain knew my mistake as I said it. Just when I thought the silence couldn’t get more awkward. FML
Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
amoureaux 0
i don't get it, how did you think he was flirting??
thuryn 2
You worry too much. This sort of thing happens to *him* every day, all day. Just don't make a big deal out of it, and he'll appreciate it. "Oh! I thought you were flirting! *smile* So what's good here?" That's all it takes. Problem solved.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
dr_house_MD 0
47: Yes it is called stuttering. Stuttering has three main parts: repition: l-l-like this, getting stuck: like tttttthis, and hitting a wall, which causes the pause
lalosaa 0
I don't really get why you think he was flirting... but hahah aww, that's a fail. poor guy.
floppydinosaur 0
Oh, sad! Aw, the poor guy.
Persian316 0
stuttering is a speech disorder...for yall who think its not a big deal it is. that guy prob felt like shit the rest of the day.
dr_house_MD 0
57, thank you, couldnt have said it better my self
cryptic_one 0
guys, i stutter and i just wanna say that its not funny or awkward but its frikking embarassing and u DO feel like shit. Imagine not being able to say exactly what u wanna say?? imagine have to think about controlling your speech all the frikking time???? its not somehting to be laughed at
breathemein 10
# 59 true its not funny to laugh at.. my dad and my bro both stutter.. and i can tell its hard to deal with it .. my lil 8 year old bro gets teased cause of it at school!
missalaska 0
first, you're a dumb **** for thinking he was flirting with you. second, who does that? seriously? you don't even make sense. you're probably ugly anyway, and since he is good-looking, he has a girlfriend I bet, and would never interested in someone who thinks flirting and being cute is by saying "are you confused." YOU'RE AN IDIOT ****. you should feel bad. maybe this will teach you a lesson in the future, and save you from being an inconsiderate asshole. poor guy :(
parry2323 0
I hope you gave him your number out of pity.
tdawgheath 0
Aww... Poor guy has trouble saying his own name. And you had to go and point it out to him in front of the whole restaurant like that. Man, if I was you...I wouldn't go outside for a month.