Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I went on a lunch date with a guy I used to work with. When the conversation got dry, I asked him if he went by “Chris” or “Christopher” these days. His name is Daniel. My brain knew my mistake as I said it. Just when I thought the silence couldn’t get more awkward. FML
Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML
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Top comments
amoureaux 0
i don't get it, how did you think he was flirting??
thuryn 2
You worry too much. This sort of thing happens to *him* every day, all day. Just don't make a big deal out of it, and he'll appreciate it. "Oh! I thought you were flirting! *smile* So what's good here?" That's all it takes. Problem solved.
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Comments (106)
xHaniffax 0
why did you say "are you confused?"
MehrunesDagon456 20
Why did you repost? (I'm pretty sure you just hit it twice or it repeated itself. :) No hard feelings.. Just trying to crack a joke.)
xHaniffax 0
why did you say "Are you confused?"
damnn_it 0
you're gay
tbweffect 0
you#'re a wanker.
efmivida 0
"are you confused" yea, nice line, works for me everrrrytime... idiot
Monty_Python 0
Ummm..... flirting? How did that even vaguely resemble flirting?
x0x_KissOfDeath 0
what planet are you from that you think a pause before saying his name is flirting? you definitely deserved that! and even if he actually was flirting with this weird technique, saying "are you confused?" back doesnt really seem like a good response it just seems bitchy
G_Bug 0
10 bucks says we're gonna see another FML submission from this chick in a few months saying her stuttering boyfriend cheated on her. Watch watch.
nocturnal_crazy 1
I agree with #12. And how is pausing flirting?
i_am_tiff_21 0
I can relate to the poor guy. I have a stuttering problem too. It sucks. :(