Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML
Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared that I passed out. I was only on the kiddie hill. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML
Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML
Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML
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Top comments
cchan034 23
Good thing it was "assisted"
Eliseopwns 22
Thank god you're not dead.
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Comments (85)
Nolimit2217 32
At least you lived!
avapaige1234 19
Dang it! You missed the whole experience! But at least you're alive.
PandaSmile 24
At least you have an excuse to do it again! Not that you'd need one
booboohoney 12
Wuss. Sky diving is an amazing experience.
sorryimnotsorry1 1
Sounds like me when I lost my virginity..
crazytwinsmom 25
You too?!
Eivana 37
Definitely a good thing you had assisted. Your ass would have been flattened on the pavement if not.
mauryo1_fml 8
Just throwing this out there.. I'm a airborne soldier and jumping out of planes is something I do at least once a month and you really didn't miss anything.
sgtcxelite 11
She or someone else is sort of paying for her to have the experience, so she did miss out. It's money wasted. But still, OP, you're really lucky that that was assisted. Probably shouldn't take a chance and go alone.
ravenxcorvinus 9
Wow, that blows... do it again! (only don't pass out this time) ;)
Futacy 30
That's okay, some people just can't handle the altitude or the weird G-force stuff. And please, tell me you have video of this.
iammeorami 25
at least you can tell your friends that you went skydiving