Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML
Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared that I passed out. I was only on the kiddie hill. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML
Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML
Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML
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Top comments
cchan034 23
Good thing it was "assisted"
Eliseopwns 22
Thank god you're not dead.
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Comments (85)
andrew_bellati 11
If you weren't assisted you would be dead, I would be kissing his/her feet right now not posting an FML.
missamberrose 17
Most chutes now a days automatically open after a certain period of time because a lot of people faint the first time.
supercowguy 5
I agree if it wasn't assisted, well I don't even want to think about what would have happened...
Welshite 40
You make an awful superhero, Fuperman...
MrBoredomioo 18
Beats what would have happened to me, with my luck. I would have had my friends come with me and shove me off, because they're all dicks.
Welshite 40
That has nothing to do with luck. If your friends would willingly risk your life like that, you need new friends.
skitsmuffin 6
Try a more calm hobby like gardening or couponing.
fuckedPriceless 17
Look on the bright side, if it wasn't assisted you would be dead.
AzWolf 5
Skydiving is fun, huh!
zenrael 21
The groupon skydiving experience.
seniorchang 16
Is that the Wronski Feint?
ltaper11 20
I'm faaaaaaallllllliiiinnnn...oh what happened?