Today, I won the lottery two years ago, got a massive payout, and of course I told my boss to suck a hobo's asshole and rubbed it in my ex-wife's face that I was set for life. Now I'm broker than ever, getting sued for unpaid debt, and I just learned I'm blacklisted in my former career field. Why me? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to work feeling great. I'd just paid off my student loans and was planning a trip to see friends in Italy. I left work unemployed because a fraud case I exposed 3 years ago got the company sued for slander. It was thrown out because everything was fact. FML
Today, my mom cussed at me because I denied my struggling cousin a job at my company, and now it's my fault he and his family will suffer and starve. He was fired from his former job as a payroll officer, and is now blacklisted. Over 30 people got zero on payday, as he later went Living La Vida Loca with his "bonus". FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Today, after the opportunity for a little malicious compliance came my way, and I did exactly what my prick boss told me to do, knowing it would screw him over in about a week, it happened. Unfortunately, he has a good legal team and he just successfully sued me for £100,000. I may have to sell my house. FML
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML
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Top comments
stickyface 17
Because you're an undisciplined asshole who confuses money with good character?
DLBL 23
Boy, you deserve it so much! You can't manage money and burnt all your bridges. That's Why You.
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Comments (7)
ImGladImNotU 16
... How?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Karma is real, asshole.
stickyface 17
Because you're an undisciplined asshole who confuses money with good character?
DLBL 23
Boy, you deserve it so much! You can't manage money and burnt all your bridges. That's Why You.
Ticonderogapencils 17
"Oh no! The consequences of my actions!" type fml
GoogieWithers 25
Nobody wants to be told to 'suck a hobos asshole'.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why you? Do you really need to ask? You did this to yourself, and you have no one else to blame.