Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML
Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Measure your height? That's a new one. I went on a date with a girl and we ended up at her place and she whipped out several family photo albums. After politely sitting through a few minutes of this, I asked for if we could take a break. She said yes and then we made out. I think it was a test and I passed. If I had sat through hours of that, she'd have thought I was a spineless limp-dick and sent me on my way.
xgetxbentx 13
I'm not seeing how this is an fml... I mean if he just measured your height out of the blue sure, it's a little weird but it's not a big deal. Sounds to me like he's a pretty fun dude and he has a good relationship with his family. Those are both good things, don't let something little like him measuring you or not owning a lot of pants ruin that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (263)
libby112233 0
if it was his house, surely he had more pants?!
pinky4lyfe 0
You know when i pictured him doing the soulja boy dance all ive been doing is laughing my ass off. Thanks for making my day =]
triggerit 5
never knew it is so cool to be without pants at first date...
bookyourfaces 0
AW. How is this a FML? I wish I could find a guy who could do the soulja boy. I'd actually like him to teach it to me :P And, thats a good thing when he shows you the family pictures. That means he's pretty interested in you! When he fell in the creek, you should have jumped right in after him and make the date an unexpected swimming session? (:
Skimbap 0
Omg you went out with a guy who was wearing swimming shorts, thats the most unbearable thing i've ever herd on fml.
bookyourfaces 0
LOL thanks 119 (; I'm too lazy to get on my laptop and edit it. FML iphone is a true heavenly invention. (:
Sephina 3
He sounds totally adorable! I would definitely go on a second date with him! And to the people talking about the pants thing, maybe he just needed to do some laundry? It doesn't mean that he only has one pair of pants, he just didn't want to wear dirty pants around you. :P Seriously, I think your being a touch uptight. I agree with 116. You guys should have had an impromptu swimming session. Think about how hot that would be afterword to hang out in a long t-shirt looking at pictures of family and being silly while the clothes dried. Sounds like a great date to me....
gav52l 4
This guy sounds funny if not for a little nerdy, as long as the funny out weighs the nerdy then there's no reason not go on a second date, just stay away from creeks this time lol.
Giant85 0
that sounds like an pretty fun date. though the measuring thing is a little weird
ktbird 0
I went on a date with a guy and had to take him to the ER. I was only 15. Not sure that can ever be topped.
ndizzle 0
Hit us with the deetz!
ktbird 0
Assuming you mean details... Long story short we were going to the movies and he noted he had some heartburn. After the movie he was very quiet and as he walked with me to my door at home he suddenly collapsed. Thankfully my mom was home and was an ER nurse so she took control of the situation. Turns out an acne pill got lodged in his esophogus (sp?) and burnt a hole and stomach acid was burning his insides, if I remember right.
ndizzle 0
Whoa! That is insane. I've never even heard of something like that happening. Impressive!