Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML
Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Measure your height? That's a new one. I went on a date with a girl and we ended up at her place and she whipped out several family photo albums. After politely sitting through a few minutes of this, I asked for if we could take a break. She said yes and then we made out. I think it was a test and I passed. If I had sat through hours of that, she'd have thought I was a spineless limp-dick and sent me on my way.
xgetxbentx 13
I'm not seeing how this is an fml... I mean if he just measured your height out of the blue sure, it's a little weird but it's not a big deal. Sounds to me like he's a pretty fun dude and he has a good relationship with his family. Those are both good things, don't let something little like him measuring you or not owning a lot of pants ruin that.
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Comments (263)
mC718 0
u guys were at his house, right? so why doesn't he have another pair of pants? maybe he's only allowed to date girls under 5'4 or something so he could look taller lol... I'd see him again!lol
tanz182 0
This one seems too good to be true...
txgirl2013 14
and the problem is what???? your just a ******* cry baby......grow your ass up
jesslovesderrick 0
ha, I would lmao te whole date ! but totally go on a second one ! : )
MrSassypants 34
OP probaly had a date wit me cuz I do that all the time, except I wear zebra bikini
chrisauh 4
intoxicunt is a *****
Intoxicunt 6
Lol. Damn right.
Starfire22 5
HAHA, I <3 Toxi! btw argument ^^up^^ there (can't remember the number) flawless, grade A work Toxi, couldn't say it better myself:))
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Agreed. Bitch away Toxi! BTW, I lol'ed at the "you could make friends" comment. :D
Gendou_fml 2
... so was it a good date or not?
faze23 0
Stop complaining he was tryin to impress you!
1LL337 0
YDI for not bailing
withered 30
At least it wasn't boring xD