Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, I'm dating the perfect guy. He's smart, considerate, charming, funny, good looking and we have a ton of interests in common. He also can't get it up. At all. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, I realized I have two guys interested in me. One is a boring lump who has a good job and takes me to nice places, and the other is a hilarious hot sexy goofball who can't hold down a job and shamelessly mooches off me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML
Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML
Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML
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Top comments
cthulhu1138 1
Being good-looking, rich, and having many achievements tends to raise one's ego. Deal with it or move on.
Sannekee 18
First date? It can be the nerves? Try second date and decide afterwards....
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Comments (232)
youthink_fml 0
So you can brag about it but he can't?
lickmyjock 0
probally cause he knows you're dumb as shit OP
greenltrn2003 0
does he do the "Me and my buds were in my porsche on our way to the country club when we saw this homeless person. We played a joke on him and gave him a hundred, took it back and told him we meant to give him a single. ah ah ah ah"... if so hes awesome
bballboy91 0
**stop**
Scourge87 0
All that comes to mind is "suck it up". Feels like this is one of the dumbest FML's I've read as of late.
romaunts 0
He's obviously insecure, and overcompensating. Those things are superficial and don't make him anywhere near perfect. He's probably mentally and emotionally ******. It's the personality that means the most, and he obviously doesn't have one, just that fake douche-y-ness. You Deserve It for caring about all the wrong things. Your Life Isn't ******, because he's one guy, who has no personality, and you should be GLAD to let him go.
perdix 31
You know why he has to keep bragging about his wealth and success? Inadequate penis. Maybe it is small or soft or he can't last for more than a few seconds. He wants to keep you so hungry for his material goods that it will offset the inevitable disappointment of your sexual encounter. It will be literally anti-climactic!
idkweird 0
This is probably closest to the truth. He's most likely overcompensating for some major insecurity.
Twinklestar 0
I used to think this was a kind of cliche comment just to shoot down anyone who got on your nerves with their bragging, but the one guy I've met who matched this description perfectly ]-------------------------------------[ ^this big. When hard.
lickmyjock 0
my nuts aren't even that small. trust me I just put one up to my iPhone screen. damn!!
perdix 31
Twinklestar, what's the problem? That guy was hung like a horse! I'm using a big-screen TV as a monitor;) Was it, as I said, anti-climactic?
Twinklestar 0
Refer to your little finger for a better indication in that case. And pretty anti-climatic, yes, especially considering I'd been telling myself that if his equipment was even half the size of his ego that maybe the bragging would be worth enduring.
idkweird 0
Twinklestar, agreed. Ive had the same experience.
perdix 31
How did you manage to get through it with a straight face? It must have felt like getting fingered by Mini-Me.
Twinklestar 0
I suddenly decided that "waiting" was a virtue I held in high regard. He acted confused seeing as I'd obviously already let him get his pants off, but I'm sure that's not the first time a girl had suddenly reevaluated their morals at that point in his relationship with them.
perdix 31
Oh, damn! Poor bastard! Your story makes my mind race with possibilities! I'm not sure what's going on in Europe, but here in the US, we're having a booming Abstinence industry. Purity rings, etc. I can imagine putting a life-size photo of his erect penis on a credit card and selling them to girls as "V cards." The scene makes me cringe -- you two making out, things getting hotter, finally he whips it out and suddenly, maidenly purity bursts in and saves the day!
Twinklestar 0
I'm not sure what a "v card" is, and wikipedia didn't clarify this for me, but if it's supposed to act as a deterrent for young puritan American girls I'm sure you'd make a killing with that idea.
perdix 31
Wikipedia wouldn't help -- Urban Dictionary would. Until now, it was not literally a card, but with this story, we could make them and make a fortune by warning a generation of girls of the horrors of sex. And then, we'd hypocritically take our earnings and use the money to have lots and lots of sex.
Twinklestar 0
Generally I wouldn't agree with the idea of paying for sex, but it sounds like the only responsible thing to do with those profits to be honest. Amsterdam here we come.
perdix 31
Twink, I like the way you think, but I wasn't thinking of paying actual prostitutes directly. I envision using the money to lavish gifts, etc. on girls to make them "give" me sex. It's basically the same, but without the taboo, and there's always a chance they'll examine my junk and leave me holding the bag, so to speak. That's the thrill! I look forward to celebrating our partnership in Amsterdam and hope a glimpse of my manhood doesn't put you in a convent :D
LtBrenton 16
Last! ...What? >_>
wow18 3
If he achieved all that success on his own then he has a right to brag about it but if he does it constantly then i can understand how it might get annoying. When you talk to him you should just start every topic with, "so you're rich and successful......" He should get the point.
Prestigex 0
Hot, besides the stealing my wallet. ):
i_am_tiff_21 0
This fml reminds me of that Shania Twain song That Don't Impress Me Much.