Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
DrunkenValor 0
You should have nonchalantly sprayed your own armpits and then accidentally sprayed hers with the same deodarant.
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
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Comments (159)
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
lolwatlol 0
newsflash, girls smell too. Oh! They fart too btw.
FarSide 23
No they don't... only your momma farts.
Lizzylibeth 2
no we don't.
jessxoxo28 5
lmao! tell her to put on some deo on next time. u should have opened the windows to
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
It's sensitive*. And that sucks. I assume you drove, so you should've just asked her to move her arm, that it was uncomfortable, and you needed to focus.
The_Pleb 0
YDI for being attracted to females
1234five 0
am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a girl put her arm around a guy...? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
xmaggerzz 0
that was my thought. i mentioned this to my boyfriend and he said it was a bit odd.
f_me247 0
i agree with #23 either your girl made you smell her shit evaporated armpits for her amusement OR you should check if she has an adam's apple either way your still ******............. next time pick a girl for personally not her body.......... you dumbass.............
monnanon 14
why is it odd, do girls NEVER innitiate hugs? I'll quite happily put my arm around a guy if I feel its the right move on a date. why wait for him, he may be worried and not sure about making the first move. Its not like its a big deal is it?
gigi37 0
I only find it odd only because this is going on in the car..especially for 90 minutes Either the OP is driving, which make it an awkward stance for her to reach over and do that, or they're both too young to drive and are being picked up. Both cases still make it an awkward situation to be sitting for 90 minutes like that.. at least that's my opinion
Sophine 0
Yeah okay, but there's a difference between initiating a hug and putting you arm around a guy for 90 full minutes ! Right ?
ohmyword08 0
ooh that sucks.
Cardie22 0
smelt is also a plant
Cardie22 0
Smellt is also a plant. Also, the dictionary includes ain't and bootylicious. Just because it's in there, doesn't mean it's correct.
sweetj2 0
#14, really? asshole. Do you have nothing better to do? Im sorry to hear that she had bad BO....