Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML
Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza, and ended up falling asleep on my couch. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
Today, and since I decided to cut back on unhealthy foods, my last five dreams were literally just slideshows of junk food. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
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Top comments
anon97_fml 7
Don't let your dreams be dreams.
Benpie 22
Get off your ass, stop being lazy, and go run three miles then.
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Comments (47)
PulpFact 8
If you're not gonna exercise at least clean up and eat less crap.
Candijpg 17
don't complain about not working out because the only one to blame is you
Paws_Cat 29
Who's fault is that?
AbyN0rmal23 5
I think your dream is trying to tell you something
Fenbrae 17
Dreams always have a meaning. This one tells you to get in shape. Get to it.
uncommonwater 5
Sounds super fake.
CraZedMadMan 16
Fucken fatass
vikky538 29
It's a sign
PulsarRiley0122 17
Do it! Just do it! Don't let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just do it! Make your dreams come true! Just do it! Some people dream of success, while you're gonna wake up and work hard at it! Nothing is impossible! You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you're not gonna stop there! No, what are you waiting for? Do it! Just do it! Yes you can! Just do it. If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!
ThLast_Huntr22 7
Years? I've worked out more than you.