Today, I watched Paranormal Activity, which is known to be "the scariest film ever." After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dangit714 0
That movie wasn't scary. It's just 5 minutes of two people sleeping on a camera, then the frickin' door moves. It was a waste of my time to see and obviously the worst horror movie I have seen so far. YDI for being a god damn pussy.
Lucky2u 0
known to be the scariest movie ever? that movie was worse than the Blair witch project. complete trash and ydi for being scared of it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
Melvinnn_fml 0
that movie was not scary at ALL
Mustardnight 3
What the point in trying to increase your ******** size by leaving the " I wasn't scared" comments all over the ******* place. This person thought it was scary so **** off. Fyl for the eye.
citygirlnomore 0
just what i was thinking
Cloudy_fml 0
There is a difference between someone finding a film scary and them stating that it is "KNOWN to be THE scarIEST film EVER." I don't see why the op has the authority to make that judgment...
Mustardnight 3
good point.
arcxjo 3
Someone never saw Requiem for a Dream.
jerrbear618 5
seriously, that movie was the least scary horror movie i've ever seen. totally disappointed me. i can't believe it scared you that bad.
elliekinslurvsya 0
my parents thought night of the living dead was the scariest movie ever.
Anonymous_1992 0
wow i do have to say that sucks allot, lol. that movie was pretty freaky, but i dident stab myself in the eye cause of it, i do hope your eye feels better
RaspberryK 0
lol. That movie made me fall asleep. Twice.
SpankyMcThrust 6
Wow, I've never seen as many dipshits commenting on a post as this one. [AND OF COURSE IT'S ****** FAKE. I'M PRETTY SURE OP NEW THAT.] Then again, I don't think most of you guys actually realize that over 90% of the events depicted in that movie ACTUALLY HAPPENED AT SOME POINT IN TIME, historically backed of course. All the rest may have a chance, but a small one. Anyone who says that that movie wasn't even a little bit scary or didn't make them slightly paranoid lives in some deluded fantasy in their head. That being said I didn't find the movie too frightening, most of the audience made the experience more comical than anything. And considering all the other "horror" films that have come out recently, I would say that this is by far the creepiest. Not the scariest of all time though. I only had a little trouble sleeping in my dark basement room for the next week or so.
taybaby18 0
good movie, but how the hell do you manage to stab yourself in the eye when your mouth's like far from it? (: oh btw, FAKE
sTejaski 0
like, it really like. totally sucked, cos like it needed like a tiny molecule of, like, intelligence to, like "get it" and cos there wasnt like blood or like gore every two minutes, it like totally like sucked or something? I strongly love new moon though cos i'm like brain dead and need, like, the movie to like, tell me what to think, and like remind me what happened very five minutes. Hey! do you think like the Japanese will remake it???
MemoriesOfOblivi 1
Haha! i like, totally lol'ed!