Today, I watched Paranormal Activity, which is known to be "the scariest film ever." After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dangit714 0
That movie wasn't scary. It's just 5 minutes of two people sleeping on a camera, then the frickin' door moves. It was a waste of my time to see and obviously the worst horror movie I have seen so far. YDI for being a god damn pussy.
Lucky2u 0
known to be the scariest movie ever? that movie was worse than the Blair witch project. complete trash and ydi for being scared of it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
greendog32 0
what a sick movie, and it only cost 15000 bucks to make
FML_IS_FUNNY 0
OMG what r u people talking about. movied scare crap outta me. i left shaking and crying. i saw it back in mid october and i STILL cant sleep with my room completely dark. first couple nights were HELL
uneed2calmdown 0
did it scare your babysitter too, dollface?
xxjxpxx345679 0
movie sucked.
evangldbrg 0
HAHAHAHA!...just made my day
citygirlnomore 0
why? i like mtv
smileyfaces113 0
that movie isn't even scary I laughed through the whole thing. the only scary part was the ending
l0st4lif3 0
worst "horror" movie ever. the little mermaid was scarier than that piece of shit, and i find anyone even slightly frightened by paranormal activity a pussy
lalagirl912 0
STFU! I HATE ALL YOU FRIGGIN RETARDS I bet everybody saying "it's the worst it wasn't even scary" got scared the most! STFU
vanilla2u 5
#29 win I totally agree
ooohlife 0
pretty sure paranormal activity was one of the lamest movies ever.
awkwardepicfail 0
gotta remember cloverfield. THAT was by far the worst IMO.
loltreated 0
I thought the movie was scary. It's all a matter of opinion. You guys should calm down. I'm sorry about your eye, OP.
JoseCuervo 0
Paranormal Activity was all hype. And I can't believe that I wasted $10 to watch that piece of crap. Barney scares me more than that movie.
sesquipedalian44 0
i don't know why people are saying it was bad...compared to alot of the other hollywood shit thats being put out there it was pretty damn good...i liked it, especially on a $11000 budget.
Thatguywhotrolls 0
Barney sure as hell scares the crap outa me.
JoseCuervo 0
Paranormal Activity sucked, it was all hype. I still regret spending $10 to see that piece of crap. Barney is scarier than that movie.
TheChanel 0
sucks to be you, that movie wasn't scary. the only "scary" part is the last scene when she throws the guy at the camera; and that's only scary bcuz it's a suprise
floating 2
thanks for ruining the ending
malinbobbyypho 0
LOL ^