rb
United States
Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
yesikilledit
Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML
SpideyFace
Canada
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
thenotsomanlyman
United States
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
dre_bro11
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Act of kindness
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
yuckspider
United States
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
yikes
United States
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
Anonymous
Warman, Canada
Juicy breakfast
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Anonymous
Hello little guy
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Anonymous
He was just chillin'
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Karmas3itch
United States
Invasion
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Looks like you were in a bit of a sticky situation.
ECMchase 0
Suicide bomber centipede.
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Comments (189)
cookies61889 15
that sucks
rallets 23
sure does i thought for a second it said "HUMAN centipede" o_O crazy shit
purpleamandapand 6
OH GOD human centipede >.<
sterlingarcher 1
eww that's so gross!
volley4eva1698 0
hahahhahahahaha I just imagined picking up a human centipede from that movie..ehhwwie
Kn0wledge123 21
Flik is gonna be pretty pissed when he finds out. *$50 for anyone who gets that reference!*
Katie_the_Great 6
You have to be really disturbed to think of making that movie. js
iBanana 17
Bugs Life
iLazy 0
They are making human centipede: full sequence. He said he is gonna use approximately 16 people this time around.
bulldog0996 0
bugs life
littlemissFYL 5
centipedes can explode? I just learned something today! **** yes i feel proud! =D
justdoit21 0
someone please help!! I have a lizard in my garage and I am too scared get rid of them. help!
aquariusangel420 0
EWWWWWWWWE *blows chunks* all over ur towel OOPS
PandaMantis 6
82, lizards are a blessing to have. They eat all the bugs. if you're that scared, call someone who can trap it humanely and release it away from your garage. Enjoy the influx of spiders, though.
reggicm 0
82- use your own advice and "just do it."
skaterpaige 3
uuum FREAKING EW.
Adamantoise 0
Human Centipede is the most repulsive movie ever...eewwwwwwwww
Adamantoise 0
Human Centipede is the most repulsive movie ever...eewwwwwwwww
whitesox365 0
maybe she blew the centipede up with her mind... either that or she is from the middle east
justdoit21 0
92, they maybe a blessing, but not when they creep up under your pillow and in your jacket
haha1494 0
bugs life.
Happiness2Joy 3
Get a hockey stick or some crap, use the hockey stick to push it out, DONE
Happiness2Joy 3
Sorry for 82. Forgot to mention that :$
zendaddy0 0
creepers their ******* everywhere now
ugwmii 0
what about the humancentipad
theodore214 0
The Fly was worse than The Human Centipede
ThatAKdude 0
a bugs life?
nalia18 8
i swear if i see a fcking human centipede im going to grab a suit case and stuff everything i can in there then move to japan where i will become the first american harajuku girl ...
HarrietPotter239 0
That Asian guy was just ******* around with them. He WAS going to eat the vanilla.
QuantumLegend 0
lol 160
PerditaDessa 38
103, if you think The Human Centipede is the most repulsive movie ever there's a whole world of movies you're missing out on. Serbian Film, SALO, or Grotesque anyone?
IntoTheClouds 42
Looks like you were in a bit of a sticky situation.
iLazy 0
I quite wonder how hard he squeezes his towel for the centipede to explode.
liquidfireKAN 0
( insert hilarious pun here ) I tried for 30 secs but failed, oh well.
Miss_Michaela 10
I hate bugs/insects/arachnids etc. The moment I'd seen it, I would have legged it out of there.. :P
plasmicmac 6
"look like you were in a bit of a (takes sunglasses off) sticky situation." YEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
gDwane 0
CSI FTW
TrollsFTW 0
Great joke, but centipedes are fking nasty.
DaJavelin 0
33 Win, I lol'd
coolkid_matt 11
33, loving the pic :D
RiZiX 0
sssss BOOM Creeper centipede
robotiick 12
lol tht made my sucky day
leader0011 5
epic win 2
mandi4murphy 0
hahah gross
TheObnoxiousNarw 1
YDI
JacksonCampbell 9
If only it was a North American House Hippo....
CryMoreFMLs 15
I think that's delicious.
RacerX1695 1
Dude, in that ad, there's a hippo marker right on top of my house!!! I've set traps and everything.
vanillatwilight6 0
thats really gross, im sorry
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Aw that sucks, FYL
Tatertotz515 0
ewww sucks for u
ECMchase 0
Suicide bomber centipede.
Kn0wledge123 21
Callahu Cakbar!!!
iLazy 0
Wow seriously that's just racist man. Adding the 'c' wasn't necessary unless you were trying to conceal it which is still unnecessary.
Kn0wledge123 21
Adding the C was on purpose. You know, because it was a centipede. Besides it was a JOKE. You know "ha-ha"? Would it have better if I said "Consai"?
iLazy 0
By the way you say it it would mean they say Mallah Muakhbar which they don't.
Kn0wledge123 21
Yes I know that. And I know they don't. And no it wouldn't. Stop being a joke Nazi. Chill the F out bruh.
123whyme 0
he should be grateful it didn't explode on his face !
iLazy 0
But if they did, we wouldn't have this website in existence.
astarwarsfan 0
It'sssssss a creeper with too many legsssssss!
car_ram_rod 3
did ssssssomeone ssssay creeper?
lionandthelamb61 9
It was a suicide bomber centipede, cleverly disguised as a house centipede. You should go into witness protection immediatly for your own safety.
lionandthelamb61 9
Damn, FreshPie and ECMchase beat me to it. Well played, gentlemen.
ECMchase 0
Plagiarism
lionandthelamb61 9
Nope, just telepathy.
Soloman212 28
On their part, of course.
Kuuroneko17 2
ECM, I feel that you use the app "Funny Pics."
LaurennEllee 1
sucks
jbsington 8
I don't see how you could deserve this, but that sucks, OP, FYL.