Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Pranks for all ages
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Shame! Shame! Shame!
Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML
Threatening
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML
Dude, are you OK?
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Keep your chill
Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML
Catch 22
Today, while in a crowded store, someone tore my mask off my face and ran away. Then before I could run after them, I got stopped and screamed at for not wearing a mask. FML
Surprise!
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Top comments
PlayTheGame24 5
Because those clothes define you as a murderer.... Stupid judgmental people these days
_GoodGuy 11
I heard a thief that stole a calendar got 12 months.
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Comments (103)
kthsdm 12
In her defense, she probably thought that you were a Death-Eater. Did she offer you chocolate?
the_loveliest3 6
maybe you should have worn a colored shirt or something. that sucks.
The_Mr_Troll 14
Change your clothes and go back in.
Fluffydemise 18
"Here comes the hotstepper, murderer I'm the lyrical gangster, murderer Excuse me mister officer, murderer Still love you like that, murderer" An excerpt from the song hotstepper. Learn this chorus, the next time you are unduly insulted you need to break out your best 90's rap voice and start throwing these lyrics all around the place.
Lonus 9
I like how "Murderer" isn't capitalized. In my mind it sounded like she just said it in a monotone but really loudly.
seaforshell 7
It is capitalized. However, it is missing an exclamation point, which is where the perceived monotone comes in.
Lonus 9
Wow, what is wrong with me. That's what I meant to say, but I don't know what the **** happened. I just now noticed that.
TheNewGuy03 29
Maybe you can throw on a hoodie and have an iced tea in one hand and candy in the other and achieve better results
monnanon 14
murderer pfft! more like ninja
DropBearMeat 23
Hoodies have long been associated with crime. When the hood is up they don't just keep your head warm but they hide your face as well. They're also often ill-fitting and somewhat baggy compared to other attire, which is great if you're trying to hide a weapon on your person without anyone noticing. Unsurprisingly, criminals are attracted to wearing them for exactly those reasons and police have been trained to look out for people dressed that way, especially if the weather is warm enough that wearing one should make a person seem especially suspicious. I used to be in security and was trained by former police department firearms instructors, so I tend to look at people the way a cop would. It's hard to say whether it's "wrong" to judge a person for their attire if a bunch of warning lights go off at once due to training. Of course, movies interview the police to try and portray criminal characters accurately. The general public has picked up on the vague sense that people in hoodies might be bad, but they don't know all of the things a cop has been trained to look for. This doesn't bode particularly well for young blacks in America who have also associated that manner of dress with a certain rap/hiphop culture and don't realize why they're lumped in with criminals and treated suspiciously by the police due to attire. They probably get the same pseudo "bad boy" vibe that the general public gets, but also associate that with just being "cool." The police don't see it that way and are more likely to harass young blacks who dress that way. It's not fair, I agree, but it's also not cut-and-dried. It's not like criminals really wander around with "I'm a criminal" tattooed across their foreheads, so the police do have to have some training in what to look out for. My advice: Just avoid hoodies altogether and opt for a light jacket with an umbrella, or a parka that fits you well, and only for inclement weather. Avoid other baggy clothing unless you're safely within the confines of a gym or your home.
oNisao 21
That lady sounds like my mother. Won't let me friend in to the house because he have tattoos.(her logic =drug dealers = tattoos)
monnanon 14
i think you should swap drug dealer and tattoo around. at the mo it reads as tho she assumes drug dealers have tattoos.
oNisao 21
True. 2 bad idk if there is option to edit comments(I'm new) Uh... Tattoos = drug dealer **
buddy51 23
I truly hope, OP, that your beanie had a little propellor on it! YDI for scaring an old lady with your threatening garb!!