Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
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Top comments
nic7973 23
i hate spiders!
jideare 3
The wind? Pfft! Maybe it was a ninja spider that despise the outdoors.
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Comments (151)
a_purple_orange 4
Well at least you won't have bad luck! That's what matters....
ohSNAPyall 27
?
arielzbkny 0
What the **** are you talking about?
RadPenny 6
I think op's bad luck is what got the spider on her face. Just sayin'.
madison8895 11
If it was me I would of killed it as soon as I saw it.
MickGold 8
*would have, would've, but not would of. Its best you know for later down the line. Just giving a little helpful criticism(:
Chilombian 0
A
Chilombian 0
53: And maybe you should learn how to use commas.
momijmanju 1
*it's
clm123455 14
58: maybe you should learn to stop being a dick. See how that works?
iseyixes 18
Nice you have a sp-eye-der friend....
ICATiger 13
So now you're spider woman right?
clm123455 14
This is the first comment I actually like from you. Good job!(:
baconandkittens 10
Yes. Yes I am.
Guyfromcrowd 7
Tis good you let it live, Sucks that it blew into your eye but if that's what happen'd when you did the right thing just think about how much worse it could have been if you killed it. Don't get whats up with all the spider hate, I prefer to have spiders in my house than to have a house infested with other bugs.
SPAIDZ 0
Letting it live was not "the right thing". That's why OP ended up in this mess. It's like a great man once said: "There's nothing to fear but fear itself... and spiders"
SPAIDZ 0
And why wouldn't you just prefer no bugs like the rest of us.
sydneyaval 9
If you killed it, it would be buried in dirt and out of your head. Now it's almost in your head.
Honestly_Lainey 21
That's what you get for washing the dishes. Styrofoam plates, plastic cutlery, and crazy-packed landfills FTW
THE_A_TEEN 28
My Sarcasm-o-meter is blaring.
Argenisjose 9
What was Spider-man doing on your dishes.
LolFMLnot 10
Lmaoo sorry but this made me laugh XD
Inediblepeaches 15
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
betseyville 6
That is so creepy! I just said the exact same thing when first reading it.