crazystar69
United States
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
birdbath
United States
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
lbg2msf
Biloxi, United States
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
FarmerGirl
Brossard, Canada
Farm life
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Anonymous
Canada
When you gotta go…
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
wheelchairgirl
Denmark
Snap!
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
fmlman
Rawlins, United States
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Mojo
United Kingdom
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Anonymous
From a great height
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
icarlypoop
Good impressions last
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
When people say not to get shit-faced on a first date, this is NOT what they mean.
firegecko123 0
OH DAMN!
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Comments (131)
briidontgive_ 0
Hahahhahahah oh myyy whatt a good fml.
DocBastard 40
When people say not to get shit-faced on a first date, this is NOT what they mean.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Unless they're into the sort of thing?
amerwin 3
Just consider it foreshadowing for the inevitable supersoaker you are going to get from your "crush" in the near future.
froob 0
win
MikeGel 6
thats the funniest shit I've ever heard
aleasucks 0
literally..hahaha
5t3ff1k4h 47
Isn't it good luck if a bird ***** on your head? That's what I heard, anyway.
KiddNYC1O 22
Ditto.
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
Dome Shot!
jewels1877 0
Well, now we know what that bird thinks of what you said.. That it's a load of sh*t. But now you can start singing, "Birdie birdie in the sky. Why'd you do that to my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMFG IT'S BIRDIE CRAP.." Ah.. The things I remember from middle school.
kayPandastyle 15
Lmao that poem is epic! XD
Doortje 30
The bird had the right to speak his mind too. Or his ass. Whatever. At least your little speech didn't go unnoticed.
sweet_blue 3
Lmfao that's hilarious!!!!!
2010smhill2010 0
birdie birdie in the sky. whyd you do that to my eye? looks like sugar, tastes like sap.OMG ITS BIRDIE CRAP!