crazystar69
United States
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
birdbath
United States
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
lbg2msf
Biloxi, United States
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
FarmerGirl
Brossard, Canada
Farm life
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Anonymous
Canada
When you gotta go…
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
wheelchairgirl
Denmark
Snap!
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
fmlman
Rawlins, United States
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Mojo
United Kingdom
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Anonymous
From a great height
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
icarlypoop
Good impressions last
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
When people say not to get shit-faced on a first date, this is NOT what they mean.
firegecko123 0
OH DAMN!
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Comments (131)
devigsgirl 0
you should've made them. it would've been sweeter than buying them
devigsgirl 0
wrong person to comment on. sorry :/
devigsgirl 0
you should've made them. it would've been sweeter than buying them
fadingaway 17
Is this some weird American thing? The paste tense of shit is shat.
Flags4life 4
that must have been really shitty haha
theshocker09 1
hahaha
junz_fml 0
that's sad. ;(
kayPandastyle 15
I LOLD out loud man that's funny! I hope u both got a laugh out of it and moved on..remember confidence is sexy lol id say something like "how do you like my new makeup?" lol XD
willmatrix 6
it's "shat" in the past tense
Mrfuzzypenguin11 0
Thats not bad at all! Thats a sign of good luck!
ppriscilla 0
Hahahahah. Hahah. HAH