Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Farm life
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
When you gotta go…
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Snap!
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
From a great height
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
Good impressions last
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
When people say not to get shit-faced on a first date, this is NOT what they mean.
firegecko123 0
OH DAMN!
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Comments (131)
someguy314159265 15
How did it go, besides the little bird shit situation? It certainly did make my day that an FML about someone confessing their feelings to their crush didn't end in the crush being a complete douche or taking extreme measures to make sure the subject knows that the answer is no.
ToNYbOy1150 0
ahhhaaa. that sucks balls... lol
audiegirl 1
this brought my day up... even though it sucked for you I'm sorry
Cbsrover22 0
That always turns guys on...
MileyCyrusIsHot 5
timing fail!
drewskiie 0
I thought birds don't poop while flying, google it.
Vaesive 0
How shitty...
Elliepop22 0
Hi there jus wondering r u emo respond if u are
Elliepop22 0
I tld my bffs boyfriend rhat i loved him and he said he loved me back and kissed me
DrewBernadette 0
aaaaahhhhhhh! that sucks!(x