Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML
Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
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Top comments
SammySteel 6
It could have been the Slenderman.
alexh15 13
There seems to be some friction in your life...
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Comments (61)
alshygirl 14
Thighs rubbing together does NOT mean you're overweight. You could just be a pear shape but be a perfectly healthy weight. Not everyone is built like Barbie. Edit: actually I'm not sure anyone is truly built like Barbie but you get the point
lexa1love 16
I would hope that no one is born built like Barbie... she doesn't have any lady parts. :(
Pelvispresley 8
Or nipples, for that matter
Altie 13
Try the treadmill perhaps?
perdix 31
I'm assuming the sound of boys chasing you is completely unknown to you?
FML_14u2c 14
I guess the only thing that slaps around here is your thighs?
skullofdarkness 18
Sounds like a paranoid parrot story...
reject214 10
You found like a real rocket scientist. Grab a salad.
PamChopsWithMint 5
I'm sorry that you're dumb and overweight. If you didn't post this, then you'd only be one of those things.
dragonflyy_86 7
People, there's a lot of slim girls that have this problem (thighs touching) so don't jump to the conclusion she's a fatty...