Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, after giving my kids a lengthy bedtime lecture about the merits of being responsible, I thought about all the chores I had left to do, promptly ate ice cream in the shower, and went to bed. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
bcoolplz 1
i love ice cream too
Doortje 30
Just say you have something else for him to eat.
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Comments (129)
sallen0046 4
So...your life is ****** because your husband doesn't think about sex every moment of the day and night? You can wear all the "fancy" and tight clothes you want to, there comes a point where a man in every relationship loses the constant and immediate need to have sex just because you look appealing. Unless you're the type of woman to plan out sexual adventures and refuse his advances on a regular basis, there's no reason he should drop whatever he's doing anytime you walk around without pants.
bonesbaby 0
Sounds like your not gettin any :P This one of those times his mind SHOULD be on sex. Doesn't mean he is a perve or always thinking about sex...this is a time where its an insult if not.
sallen0046 4
Perhaps you're unaware, but adult relationships do not revolve around sex. When you're in a committed relationship and see the person you're with in various states of undress every single day, you eventually reach a point where seeing them in nice underwear no longer produces an immediate need every time it happens.
davek 36
Should have got him a goddamn sammich.
banana_buddy 6
Actually it sounds like she's married to Chunk from the Goonies. Then again all of the goonies were overweight nerds who should have been killed by the Fratellis so anyone of them makes for a good comparison.
FrankHotpants 31
I enjoy ice cream as much as the next guy but who could resist just panties and a tank top??
epyk_pryncess 8
702 hmm?
FrankHotpants 31
yes ma'am :)
motero 0
sounds like something I would say:)
ALBATROSS9080 0
what a pro
Prolusive 5
Is ice cream a euphemism for something dirty? Maybe OP isn't an exciting lover, though it is hard to compete with ice cream...
BottuhlRockit 0
aww lol this was cute not an fml
purple_sarah88 0
That's what I totally thought at first, it's cute, it's not so bad but then I thought it's cute if it happens once. The fact that the OP is dressing up to excite her husband while he has started seeing the bedroom as a place for food not play indicates that the passion might have been missing for a while and I thought it must hurt for her to make the extra effort to impress him and get ignored again so that's why I thought it was an FML.
Jizwold 0
I can't wait to have the opposite problem if I get married :)
Daederoth 10
Yet another gay married man.
A7xPenguin 0
mmm ice creeeaaammm