Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
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Top comments
dkf295 2
Should have told him that your head was full of unstable explosives and that by punching you he'd set them off killing you both.
ankoku 2
The correct response was to punch him in the face
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Comments (144)
babygirl1023 5
how tall are you? that might have something to do with it. O_o
NavyAvi 0
serial face-puncher?
yoyodog27 5
and your a girl? WHAT A DICK
sappy0 5
If I were in this situation, I prolly would've smiled my sexiest smile, walked up to him slowly while licking my lips & holding his eyes in my gaze, slid my hands gently up his chest & over his shoulders while telling him the whole time the erotic things we could be doing instead... & then BAM!! A surprise knee to the groin! & when he's bent over in pain, the other knee to his face! Problem solved - walk away. The creep got what was coming to him!
MollyDollLifee 1
I literally laughed my ass off a this one! you should've said "because I'm a State Champion boxer and would kick your ass"
coltsluvr123 2
hahahahahahaha I'm sorry u got punched but this was the best FML ever. I totally wanna meet this dude
shortie916 0
OP IS A GIRL.... bummer!!!!
ogle5431 1
you must be a hipster. I'd have done the same thing.
ACMX721 4
you should say ' because i have a knife'
sblhaine 0
wow. Id punch him out instead