Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
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Top comments
dkf295 2
Should have told him that your head was full of unstable explosives and that by punching you he'd set them off killing you both.
ankoku 2
The correct response was to punch him in the face
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Comments (144)
SpectSelf 0
that's why I believe all women should carry pepper spray.
MariJ82 14
Stranger danger!
Zomg_Okay 27
This, OP, is an excuse to start learning a martial art. You won't regret it, last guy to pick a fight with me didn't know what hit him. :L
JesterMarcus 0
Why did you not kick him in the balls as hard as you could? Then has he is hunched over, knee him in the face and proceed to kick him in his knee as hard as you can until it is so horribly deformed that he will never walk again? Why did you not do that?
spartans916 1
should have told him that ur husband is a cop
fl0r_armas 0
priceless !!!!
qasimahsan93 4
"Because I'm going to kick you in the crotch if you so much as touch me" wasn't good enough OP?
jorrrk 0
thats hilarious im gonna go do that to some ramdom person now ;)
dgr8ing 0
I am gonna say what most people REALLY would have done in this position and say run. stop acting like a machos guys it's getting repetitive, and pathetic.
MrScholl 4
You should have said "I have herpies.". Then waited for the reaction :).