Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dkf295 2
Should have told him that your head was full of unstable explosives and that by punching you he'd set them off killing you both.
ankoku 2
The correct response was to punch him in the face
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
XxXPromiseXxX 0
lovely
smoke_eater05 0
if it wouldve happened to me, I wouldve shot the guy, seeing as how I'm a god fearing, gun toting American...good enough reason for self defense...haha
mbrooks5110 0
ohhh idk how about someone comes up & says that you knock the the f out first....
KittenLionFace 6
I would have thought "because I'm an plain clothes police officer, D*ck" would have sufficed... No?
kc1997kc 9
That is why I have a can of pepper spray, a pocket knife, and also know basic boxing skills.
FreebirdIII 1
Correct response: Because I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. When he displayed his hose, a nice firm kick will take him down.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Kick him in the groin and then tell him "That's a pretty damn good reason not to do it."
dookiedoo 0
I would have immediately headbutted him in the ******* teeth
LaughterofCorn 4
If it was me, I would've said. "If you so much as lay one finger on me , I will find you whilst you sleep and slowly slit your throat while you are gagging on your own blood. What are you waiting for, hit me. Earn your death."
slickrasta 1
Defend yourself pussy. He's homeless he's clearly weak as hell!